Comments
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Love your strumming patterns on this one.
I'd be tempted to take this into a full on blues vibe. I think the lyric might suit that. It sounds fine as it is though!
Enjoyed my listen. 😀
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That's probably a good call on shortening it. 5 mins is a long time for this style of song. Good call.
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That's an insightful comment Elvis! I believe you are correct. Also, the robots sing in tune!!
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@TammyB Sid will be back, though probably not for a couple of months. I miss him too!
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Nice job on this version Renee! Enjoyed it!
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This is really good.
"Concrete flower" is a lovely image, sprouting out of the of the most difficult ground.
Some lovely lines in there like:
A temporary setback
was the greatest comeback.
And …
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This one jumps around a lot Kayla. For example you start with falling asleep at the wheel, but that doesn't seem to connect with any of the latter verses. Then "I don't use sex as a weapon" pops up out of nowhere, and I'm asking myself why is tha…
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Strong chorus Renee! One to sing-a-long with. And nice to see something upbeat and inspirational.
I liked how you're singing some of those lines at the end:
Rise
Rise above it, yeah
would be interesti…
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That's much clearer Bill. Far easier to understand the lyric. I like the music too, but I go for the more melodic stuff so no surprise there!
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Good job Renee! For me at least this is a much better version, and certainly far more relatable.
I applaud anyone who's willing to put in the effort to improve and rewrite, whether it's in my direction or 180 degrees the opposite!!
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This one gives me an early Beatles vibe. Love the chord progressions.
Really enjoyed this one Tommy!
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Vocals are definitely good enough for a work tape. And a strong lyric.
I'm a bit with @BeatlesFan64 r…
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This is just a personal view, but I think songs work better when the listener can put themselves into the story, and I think there's too much of you in this one to allow that to happen. But that is an opinion, not a fact. I'd try sticking with "m…
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Calling it as you see it! This one doesn't appeal to me personally, but it's perfectly well constructed as a song.
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Some nice picking there!
Big reveal in the 3rd verse. Up till then I wasn't sure if it was going to be a drug song!! Much better this way.
The ending felt a little short - though maybe it's just that particular take. A short picked o…
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And isn't it nice to be a published songwriter? Thought occurs, as soon as you post the song anywhere, you're published. How cool is that?
It's a very positive thought, though not the usual meaning of the term. But it …
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Thanks!
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Good luck to musicians and songwriters everywhere if they receive fair compensation for the use of their music in training AIs.
There's also the issue of whether AI generated music will subsume human efforts over the long run. We'll have to…
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Would you mind posting the lyric along with the link to your song RC? makes it easier to follow along and comment.
Like the mood of this. Feels like it could be something played on a boat or on a riverbank.
Enjoyed my listen.
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I like the melody you're singing. Nice lilt to it.
"eradicate" didn't bother me when I heard it sung, "Straighten out" could be another alternative if you want one.
I agree on changing "slime" though you want to keep the negative conn…
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Main two parties in Australia are called Labour and Liberal, though the Liberals usually form a Coalition with the National party (farmers etc) and are referred to as "The Coalition". Labour would be closer to your Democrats and The Coalition mo…
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Link wasn't working for me Carroll.
hard hitting lyric. Anger can be a very real reaction to loss, so this rings true to me. Lots of rich detail there, like the encounter with the father.
It seems like it is still unresolved at the fi…
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Cool. I particularly like the chorus, and these lines:
Sisters and Brothers, wives and husbands
Family and friends
This is obviously a personal song, and beyond that an American song, but still enjoyable fo…
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Classic B.Hengen lyric!
The only sensible comment I can make is that the growly vocals in the verses make it hard to understand the lyric, and surely you want the listener to hear them clearly. The choruses are a bit clearer though.
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I like how you're using the other side of town as a place where everything bad happens, so when "you're somewhere doin' somethin', On the other side..." it automatically comes across as bad.
Talking about "the other side" automatically cre…
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I like your choice of music for this - not too heavy. It's a sad situation but the lyric isn't overly emotional, so a good match.
"I’m not sure we’re even friends" -ouch! That one's heavy!
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Excellent! Enjoy!
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I like "money says goodbye", I can imagine everyone nodding at that.
"This time next year" doesn't quite hit hard enough as a hook to me. It all sounds very smooth and polished, but it doesn't quite draw me in the way some of your others do…
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Songs like this one have to come from the heart - as it does here. I can hear the feelings come through.
Old age is a b**, and the alternative is worse!
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Great lyric. It all hangs together very nicely.
I really liked: l was fire, you were gasoline"
But maybe something else on the line after rather than returning to "We had bad chemistry."?
Perhaps "Volatile. incendiary", but then…
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