Some Days
Hi all - I'm brand new to the forum and fairly recently returning to songwriting after taking a few decades off. This was one of the first songs I wrote after teaching myself rudimentary piano three or four years ago. Lyrics are on the bandcamp page at the link below.
This one is about the practice of being here now, and the struggles of distraction.
Comments
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Ahh live in the moment "This moment is all there is". Beautiful light airy upbeat feel. Great story, had to listen to it a few times.
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Welcome to the forum. This is nice. It kind of reminds me of post-Beatles John Lennon. I like the chord progressions here. It might benefit from a full drum track, but I really enjoyed this. Nice lyrics too.
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Hello and welcome!
I like the message, and the overall mood seems like a good fit for it: contemplative. But I feel like it needs some more evocative imagery to capture it. "Like a child chasing butterflies, this moment is all there is." or something like that.
My favorite line is "So shake the cobwebs from the rafters"
I think the music and melody are strong. Like the piano and the chord progressions. I'm less keen on the "So sleep on it tonight" parts where it drops back mostly to bass, that feels a bit sparse to me, though it's a nice contrast. But the Bridge I particularly like with that change of pace and contrasting delivery.
You have a good voice!
Overall I enjoyed listening to it.
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It's really good overall very touching in a couple of places like few songs can do, at least to me, but it's below the professional standard. Compare it to Simon and Garfunkel or Zombies or the popular British bands of the mid to late 1960's. All that music has a certain elevated element to it that this song is missing. The good news is I believe you can get there. Probably the best music I have heard on this forum.
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Hi Matt,
Welcome to the forum, I see you already have some good feedback on your posting.
A lovely song that I enjoyed very much, like Chris I heard Lennon in there, no higher compliment than that re vocals.
The lyrics are extremely good, painted a very emotive picture and the music, whilst lacking a touch of support in places is also very well done. My only minor gripe is the bridge, it seemed the tempo was chasing the lyrics and overdid it slightly, it felt a tad rushed to my ears.
Overall, an excellent piece which I enjoyed very much.
I do hope you consider posting more of your fine work.
Thanks for sharing.
Sid
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Thanks for taking the time to listen, everyone.
Well, to me that's about as high praise as I could ever hope to receive. And I agree about the drums. This started as a messing around with Garage Band on an iPad after I found myself writing songs again, and I didn't put nearly enough effort into production as maybe it deserved. Maybe someday.
@sidshovel This thread links in well with your post in General Discussion about "Abstract Lyrics and a Bridge too Far". Your minor gripe on this song is the bridge, while @RainyDayMan particularly liked the bridge. I think I lean more towards agreeing with you: that it's a bit rushed and jarring. But it's close to what I was going for, and to be perfectly honest usually I get to the point with songs where I think "Oh, good enough. The next one will be better."
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I don't know a lot. What I do know is what I like, and I really liked this.1
Howdy, Stranger!