one more time lyrics

sidshovel
sidshovel merseyside
in Original Songs & Lyrics for review


I spilt your drink, when reaching for my change

Got you another, we clicked, I felt something strange

I dropped you off, got your number, I knew that you'd be mine

I know you said that,

You love me, but

Tell me, one more time


A weekend in the country, a nice little hotel

Signed in as Mr and Mrs, everything went well

We woke in each others arms, it was so divine

I know you said that,

You love me, but

Tell me, one more time


We lived our life in bliss, till the ex turned up one day

The kiss was more than friendly, you didn't push him away

I saw your eyes meet his, over a glass of wine

I know you said that,

You love me, but

Tell me, one more time



You told me to calm down, I was behaving insecure

I never told you what I heard, when you saw him to the door

You cried you needed space, and then maybe you'd be fine

I know you said that,

You love me, but

Tell me, one last time

Comments

  • ChrisPrice
    ChrisPrice

    Aww, the heartbreak here is so real. The words leave me hanging on. I'm not sure how it really ended, but someone could create a fabulous song from these lyrics. Keep em comin' my friend.😀

  • sidshovel
    sidshovel merseyside

    Thanks for your generous comments Chris.

    You cried you needed space, and then maybe you'd be fine

    I know you said that,

    You love me, but

    Tell me, one last time

    I hoped to convey the finality of the relationship in the words "maybe" and "last", but you are right, a more definitive last line would have been better.

    Thanks for your insight

    Sid

  • RainyDayMan
    RainyDayMan

    This one reads like a showtune to me (and I mean no offense by that!).

    Sinatra's voice is going through my head as I'm reading the lines. The meaning might be tragic, but the delivery is still light.

    I know you said that,

    You love me, but

    Tell me, one more time

    yep, that just works, and of course the final twist with one last time.

    Given the all verse structure, an instrumental break halfway through might work well.

    Very nice!

  • sidshovel
    sidshovel merseyside

    Hi Owen,

    Thanks again for your feedback, appreciated as always.

    Interesting observation re the "showtune"

    A few songs ago you talked about syllable stresses and I looked that up.

    Since then, I've tried to improve the overall rhythm of the lines.

    Maybe there's some impact coming through giving it that Sinatra smoothy feel.

    Thanks again

    Sid

  • RainyDayMan
    RainyDayMan

    Yes rhythm in the lines can be very important.

    This is somewhat of an aside, but when I think about falling into a rhythm just from reading a lyric, I always think of the poem "Disobedience" by A A Milne of Winnie the Pooh fame. This is one of his children's poems and I defy anyone to read it without falling into its rhythm!. https://allpoetry.com/disobedience

  • sidshovel
    sidshovel merseyside

    Your right, but the strange thing is, the first time I read it, my mind read it as prose.

    When I went back to it a few minutes later, I immediately picked up the rhythm and the rhymn structure.

    Definitely a bit odd,

    A similar thing happens when I proof read sections. After you pointed out some sloppy work on my part the other day, I now reread each section 3-4 times. Each time I go over it, I find something to change.

    Sid

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User]
    edited March 2024

    Another clever set of lyrics, Sid. Are you making demos of these songs you're writing? I'd enjoy hearing them set to music. I think my favorite lines are:

    I dropped you off, got your number, I knew that you'd be mine

    I know you said that,

    You love me, but

    Tell me, one more time

    Overall, the lyrics relate a somber story. I enjoyed reading. Thanks for sharing.

    Cheers,

    Joseph

  • sidshovel
    sidshovel merseyside

    Hi Joseph,

    Thank you for those kind words.

    To answer your question, I have little to no ability on the music side.

    I play a little ukulele for my own amusement but very basic.

    I tried putting a dozen of my earlier songs to music using my uke and ended up with 12 different types of songs all with very similar melodies. I know when I am out of my depth!

    I am in absolute awe of those musicians out there who can come up with so many different melodies, I truely am!

    My songs I post are very much a hobby and are up for grabs for any musician who's looking for some lyrics. Good luck and your welcome.

    Sid

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User]

    Interesting, Sid! We have another ukulele player in the forum who occasionally posts his Hawaiian songs. Good stuff! So, feel free to share yours anytime. I'm sure we'd enjoy hearing those. 😀

    Cheers,

    Joseph

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