Excuse me Lyrics
I been waiting all day
To hear you speak
Want me to smile?
I want to weap
Excuse me
Gudda define meek
Sweep me off my feet
The right way
Hey
You told me you'd stay
I can't drive 4 hours in 1 day
To see you for a hour or two,
Less, this unstuck glue
Get a clue
I've been waiting for you
Screw loose
I've been waiting for you
Comments
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Who are you talking to a lover ? Since you never talk, its hard to get a handle on what your trying to achieve . you post and run and give zero feedback . its a long distance relationship , they never work . Why are you blaming him ? , it takes 2 to tango . In all genres now , writers do not make women the weaker sex , they portray them as equals partners
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What I'm getting from this one is a long distance relationship that isn't working, but it isn't 100% clear.
There isn't the emotional impact here that you often have. Is the person speaking angry? Over it? Trying to make it work? I can't really tell.
Reading it, I feel like it has a rap style or similar. Modern anyway. That probably means it will be quite short as is. If you're not sure what comes next, you could potentially rewrite/repeat what you already have. eg "Can't keep my eyes awake" etc. though you might want to start with "Excuse me..." again, that being your title.
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I like your lyrics, it’s like you’re doing it to yourself. That’s basically what I do too.
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You have your own style, but if you wanted to try something different, you could think of writing a song like writing a book. What's it about? How does it start? How does it progress? How does it end? Who are the main characters? How should the reader feel about them? What's the overall tone or feel you're going for? This kind of approach is like crafting. You think about the whole first, then carve into that shape.
But to be clear there's no right or wrong way to write a song! Only what works for you. Try it or not whatever feels right.
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