Arguin’ With a Screen

https://suno.com/song/7a9eec83-4d5d-48bc-a7ce-66d42425ffd7

Verse 1

I caught myself yellin’ at a cooking show

Like that woman could hear me through the remote

Told her, “Don’t burn that steak, you fool”

My dog just blinked like I’d lost my cool

I’m givin’ advice to a man on the news

Like he’s sittin’ here in my living room boots

Chorus

I’m talkin’ to pictures on a TV screen

Cussin’ at folks who ain’t never seen me

Arguin’ with pixels like they’re flesh and bone

Winner of debates in a house alone

If crazy had a front porch swing

I’d be rockin’ it, yellin’ at everything

Yeah I’m talkin’ to pictures like they understand

Lord help the Wi-Fi and this lonely man

Verse 2

Told an actress, “Girl, don’t trust that guy”

She walked right in and I said, “That’s why!”

Gave relationship advice to a beer commercial

They didn’t listen — now it’s gettin’ personal

I high-five touchdowns through the glass

Then sit back down like I coached that pass

Bridge

If these screens could talk back, I’d be done

Probably lose every argument I won

Final Chorus

Still talkin’ to pictures on a flat-screen wall

Preachin’ like they’re waitin’ on my call

King of opinions nobody hears

World heavyweight champ of digital jeers

If sanity’s measured by silence and grace

I ain’t winnin’ that race

Yeah I’m talkin’ to pictures — loud and obscene

Somebody unplug this damn machine