The charge of the light brigade -non abstract
@sidshovel - inspired me to write this one..
Decided to crawl out of the abyss that is my mind on this one
Lyrics - me, music - Suno
https://suno.com/song/a9930508-b26a-4621-8804-12938830dd12
I may change the 113 to many, as it sounds like the cadence is off.
[Verse 1]
Dear ma, hope this letter finds you well,
Another cold gloomy day, might get some rain
Just waiting on some orders to come down
Soon to march into valley's deathly plains
[Chorus]
Charge guns to the front, without haste
Charge guns to the front, gallop's pace
Charge guns to the front, shells ablaze
Charge guns to the front, leave em' dazed
[Verse 2]
Oh ma, we got the orders, we charge soon
600 of us we call the mighty light brigade
To take on the Russian army in the valley
Held high are our piercing sabres' blade
[Chorus]
Charge guns to the front, without haste
Charge guns to the front, gallop's pace
Charge guns to the front, shells ablaze
Charge guns to the front, leave em' dazed
[Verse 3]
Roaring thunder shatters the still air
Skies fill with whistling cannon discharge
The ground shaking and quaking beneath us
Through the thick black smoke we charge
[Chorus]
Charge guns to the front, without haste
Charge guns to the front, gallop's pace
Charge guns to the front, shells ablaze
Charge guns to the front, leave em' dazed
[Verse 4]
A muscle piercing intense pain drops me
A musket ball to the calf, but only brief
As I quickly mend and soldier on into battle
Through endless cannon fodder, there is no relief
[Bridge]
Oh ma, Oh ma, words cannot describe the horrors
Witnessed by these eyes as, soldiers, dear friends
Lives cut short, by relentless cold steel balls
Physical wounds, but not mental wounds never mend
[Outro]
Charge guns to the front, 'tis the battle cry,
In the deathly valley, 113 innocent souls lie,
Orders made rashly, brashly, delivering brutality
Of unnecessary, senseless, needless fatalities
Comments
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Nice twist on the poem. Doubt the younger generations have ever read it!0
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Well that cheered me up no end!
You have a gift for descriptive poetry and prose Bill.
Refreshing to see you opted for the personal narrative, excellent choice.
Lord Tennyson, wrote his poem from newspaper reports.
You capture the emotions in the simplicity of the phrases you use, when he writes to his mother.
"might get some rain", as if that was his biggest worry, genius!
Verse 3 dragged me in to the carnage, I was exhausted at the end.
To me, this form of writing is your forte, so enveloping and colourful.
Something to be proud of, William Lord Hengen.
Sid
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@sidshovel - thanks.. most of it were accounts from William Henry Pennington wikipedia page. that's where the term charge guns to the front came from.. the first verse was when I was almost deployed when I was on a military exercise. we were told we might have to write a letter
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I f it was me I'd write a resignation letter!
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War and violence has always intrigued people . Not your usual poetry song Bill , Pretty conversational
Cool tune , v4 does a good job like always
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@ElvisNash - thanks, tried something different. still warbles when it sings 113, :)
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Love it! You have another string to your bow.
That chorus is very strong, but v3 is my favorite, so descriptive.
Orders made rashly, brashly, delivering brutality
that's quite a line.
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Well robots aren't perfect people , either are we. We must excuse warbles , live and let live . The good news robots are all 25 years old with youthful voices
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Bill Suno always has trouble with more than two figure numbers,
In keeping with the theme and time consider:
In the valley, a century and more souls lie,
Sid
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Nice to hear something more accessible from you. Not that I don't like your other stuff.
I remember Tennyson's poem. That first line of the chorus is a nicely condensed version of the misunderstood order that led them to charge the wrong guns.
I like the letter idea. That works well, even though the whole song is clearly not the letter, only the beginning and the end, while verses 3 and 4 take us along with him into battle.
Good one!
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@OnlyGavin - Thanks for the comment.. didn't read the poem. I got my information a wikipedia page of someone who as actually in the battle. which is where I got the idea for the chorus from and the musket ball attack, except he didn't continue on in the battle. Not only charge with the wrong guns, but they were massively out numbered with an enemy in a strong defensive position ..
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Thanks for the comments, owen.. wish I could take all of the credit for that line, but it was in a letter that was penned to the soldier's father.. also the musket ball wound
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@bhengen Yes, the order was meant to direct them to attack in a completely different direction to stop the Russians making off with some cannons they had just captured from the Turks, which made sense and would probably have been successful. They were never supposed to do what they did, but the order was delivered in a very garbled fashion.
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@OnlyGavin - spending 6 years in a unit that processes delployment orders, it happens, sadly
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