the other side of these tears
https://audius.co/sidshovel/other-side-of-these-tears-1 (right click then open link in new tab,) to open song. lyrics SS music/vocals Ai
[intro]
[verse 1]
You say you're hurtin', an' wanna get back,
sorry for all the things, you did an' said.
Want me to forgive, the pain and fears, but
It hurts even more, the other side of these tears.
[chorus]
The other side of these tears
where you can't see.
Is where I live with,
what you did to me.
[verse 2]
It took a leap of trust, to give my all to you,
I warned you back then, handle with care.
Lover's hurt me in past, I'm not what I appear,
memories are on, the other side of these tears.
[chorus]
The other side of these tears
where you can't see.
Is where I live with,
what you did to me.
[verse 3]
It'll be a long time, before I share my love again,
betrayed me with a lover, broke my heart.
There's no chance in hell, of me lettin' you near,
images of you, on the other side of these tears.
[chorus]
The other side of these tears
where you can't see.
Is where I live with,
what you did to me.
[verse 4]
I'm gonna live on my own, don't need no man, no more.
Have everythin' just as I want it, toilet seat down.
Share my bed with my cat, been doin' that for years.
the loneliness I'll bury, the other side of these tears.
[chorus]
The other side of these tears
where you can't see.
Is where I live with,
what you did to me.
[bridge]
You got the message, left me on my own,
saw you around, some girl on your arm.
Not in your genes, to leave well alone,
can't you see, you caused me harm.
[chorus]
The other side of these tears
where you can't see.
Is where I live with,
what you did to me.
[outro]
Gettin' rid of you, was the best thing I done,
lookin' from a distance makes it clear.
What kind of rat you really are,
on this side of my tears.
Comments
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"the other side of these tears" is a lovely title and hook.
Like the shorter lines for the chorus vs the longer lines for the verse. And Suno makes good use of that.
I'd like the chorus to be twice as long, maybe with some exposition of what it's like on the other side of those tears.
This line in the bridge feels a bit out "can't you see, you caused me harm." because the focus there is less on the narrator and more on the girl he is now with. For that reason maybe more like: someone else for you to harm?
I like the empowered "I'm over with you" attitude, and how that ramps up over the song finishing with him being "the rat".
Good stuff.
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RDM,
Thanks for the feedback, like the bridge change.
Most of my posts are experiments in one thing or another. In this case and the song before, it's the effect of different types/use of chorus, repetitive and punchy. You suggest doubling the size of the chorus but would that dilute the punchiness/impact hook, dumb hook v thinkin' man's hook. I appreciate your thoughts on this if you have time.
Sid
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Great lyrics, but then I wouldn't expect anything other from you. I can't volunteer to do it, but I'd just love to hear these words taken up by a real singer/band. Again the Ai is very good here but, for me, it's more of the same.
Do keep em comin' Sid. 😀
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Hey there Sid....this is awesome. I can see this being performed on stage very successfully.
Is this an A.I recording? I don't see any credits.
Great piece of music. Could belong on any country music album.
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Many thanks for your kind comments, most appreciated.
Yes, the music and vocals are Ai generated. The credits are alongside the link to the music at the top of the posting.
Out of respect for "real" musicians, I don't make it too prominent, sorry for any confusion.
Sid
1 -
Sid, I think you have good musical instincts and you can trust those.
I tell you what I'd do, but obviously that's biased towards the kind of songs that I like. I'm guessing you felt like the experiment worked when you posted it, and there's no reason to change it if it achieved what you wanted!
I tend to judge these things by ear, and I felt myself wanting the chorus to go on, but there's no science behind that, it's literally just an opinion, and the general feedback here (including mine) is overwhelmingly positive. I appreciate you giving consideration to my suggestions, but don't overweight them. In the end, go with what makes you feel most satisfied with the song.
0 -
Thanks for the feedback, pragmatic and honest as usual.
Sid
0
Howdy, Stranger!