I fell and broke my heart

carroll

I fell and broke my heart

Verse
She took me to the mountain
And to the clouds above
And at the rainbows end
I thought that I found love.
She made me feel so happy
then took it all away.
Now I am a blind man
trying to find my way.
Chorus
I fell and broke my heart.
I gathered what I could.
I hoped that it would heal
but found it never would.
I’ve tried to love again
But scars are slow to heal.
I need to find a loving hand
to teach me how to feel.
Verse
You’ve taken time to listen.
You’ve shared what you’ve been through
And slowly but surely
I’ve seen you’re lonely too.
I’m finding strength in caring.
You’re helping me to heal.
Day by day I’m learning
How love’s supposed to feel.
Chorus
I fell and broke my heart.
I gathered what I could.
I hoped that it would heal
but found it never would.
I’ve tried to love again
But scars are slow to heal.
I need to find a loving hand
to teach me how to feel.
Verse
You took me to the summit
And to the clouds above
And at the rainbows end
I found that there was love.
You’ve made me truly happy;
helped me find my way.
You’ve given me much more
than what she took away.
Bridge
You gave without asking;
Turned friendship into love;
Made a broken heart
even stronger than it was.

sidshovel

Hi Carroll,

This one I really like a lot! The story flows seamlessly and conjours up wonderful visions as it progresses.

There are so many beautiful lines in there, but these jumped out.

You’ve made me truly happy;

helped me find my way.

You’ve given me much more

than what she took away.

That's so nice.

Tell me, if you don't mind. Do you have any particular genre in mind for your songs or do you leave it to the musicians?

I tend to write songs with the singer in mind, e.g. Jimmy LaFave, Springsteen, Lucinda Williams.

I'd love to hear this set to music, would be lovely.

Sid

carroll

I don’t hear music when I write so I leave it totally up to the musician. I’d appreciate it. Big fan of yours.

HarbingerRoad

Very beautifully done Carroll. I really enjoyed it. A well told story of love lost then found, done in a very artful manner.

If I may, there was one thing that caught my attention. When I got to the end of the chorus, I felt like I was looking for "teach me how to heal". Probably silly of me, but it just seemed more real. I know there had just been heal in relation to scars just previous to that, but I bet you could find a way around that if you found this comment to be valid. I continued reading, and I felt like this idea had perhaps been validated slightly when the second verse then also ended in feel. So perhaps what I already felt slightly off about breaks this up at the same time?

Please understand I'm truly looking hard to find something for you to consider. Which isn't easy because you did do a wonderful job with it. Just something to consider, or not. I'm only trying to give you some constructive thoughts.

I know Sid had inquired about writing to a particular genre. I was going to ask if you wrote to a melody, but you of course answered that. I found it interesting that he writes with a singer in mind. I've done it about every way you can think of, but I usually try to write to a melody and sing it through as I go. Not that the melody couldn't change, but I think it helps me flow the cadence of the lyrics a little more. It helps to eliminate a lot of adjustments that I find necessary as it is set to music.

Genuinely just trying to give you some good feedback Carroll. You did a beautiful job on this piece.

carroll

i’m no musician and don’t hear music when I write which probably sounds strange. I leave it to what the composer hears when they read it

RainyDayMan

Got a good feel to it Carroll! Nice story development and I like that title!

I'll second the "teach me how to heal" for the final line of the chorus 1, had the same thought.

Given that v1 starts "She took..." and V3 also uses "took" then maybe v2 should be "You took the time to listen." make it a structural element. There's plenty of room in between, so I don't think variation is needed there.

For L2 of the chorus perhaps "I gathered all the pieces that I could"?

Maybe put the Bridge after v2 for this one? Feels like it would better fit the way that the story unfolds.

Good stuff.