Under Her Hypnosis (early demo version)
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This is an early demo version of one of the tracks on my forthcoming CD Omega's Dark. The track isn't ready for Soundcloud, etc., yet. If anyone has opinions for improvement at this early stage, your comments are welcome. In the outro, a female friend in Oz is working on the 'woman whispering' and giggle/laugh parts for me. Once she finishes, I'll replace those parts in the demo with her vocals and create a better production/master, then I'll have a music video made for the song. 😀😎
https://app.box.com/s/bawtxjn4fegnvtbmlno9qoj2arcosty0
Under Her Hypnosis Words and Music: Joseph Spain Produced by: Joseph Spain © 2024 Joseph Spain song from my forthcoming horror novel "Omega's Dark: The Transference" --Verse 1 You used to be a lovely girl Sorta lonely, kinda cute in your own way Now that's in the past And lost with yesterday --Verse 2 You used to be the special one With a radiance you made all faces smile Now that didn't last You've only tears to cry Pre-chorus 1 My new love is a mega-force She's got me, she's the one Her draw is an attraction With the pull 'n power of a thousand suns --Chorus I'm into her like a comet's tail I chase behind Our love storm's like a winter's blizzard white-out leaves me blind She comes and moves in her spirit Her love takes us high Up off the ground Far beyond the clouds I'm under her hypnosis now --Release She comes and moves and her water sends me higher now --Verse 3 You used to be so fun to kiss Sorta clever, kinda new in your own way But that's over now That ship has sailed away --Verse 4 You used to be the only one With a perfect whisper wrapped in love so shy But you're over now You've many tears to dry --Pre-chorus 2 My new love is the only force Behind her there's no one Her call is an attraction With the pull 'n power of a million suns (repeat chorus/release) --Bridge Bliss is the lost state of mind An illusion in the sky I'm out of orbit chasing her Past the moons of Neptune Drawn into her light (repeat chorus x1) -- outro She comes and moves and her water sends me higher now woman whispering: (you're under my hypnosis now) She comes and moves and her water brings me higher love woman whispering: (you're under my hypnosis now) She comes and moves and her water sends me higher now woman whispering: (you're under my hypnosis now) She comes and moves and her water brings me higher love woman whispering: (you're under my hypnosis now) She comes and moves and her water sends me higher now woman whispering: (you're under my hypnosis now ha ha ha) She comes and moves and her water brings me higher love
Comments
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This is is a really good song to my ears. It has a very 80's synth pop feel to it. If that's what you're after then I'd say you're definitely on the right lines here. The vocals are catchy and well performed. I'd like to hear a more realistic drum track, or at least a more dynamic kit sound. I think a shift of some kind mid-way would help as it's all a bit samey at the moment. So said, I'm enjoying this so far.
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@ChrisPrice Many thanks for listening, your kind words, and your suggestions. Your points for improvements are well taken and appreciated. 😀
Cheers,
Joseph
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Sounding good Joseph!
You might try out some kind of psychedelic FX sound after "I'm under her hypnosis now" to lean into "hypnosis". It shouldn't interfere with vocals there.
I like the spoken female vocals, it's a nice touch!
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Many thanks for listening and your kind words, Owen! I like your idea of adding an FX sound after the last line in the chorus. I'll try that and probably add it when my friend sends me her spoken vocals for the outro. 😀
Cheers,
Joseph
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Like the energy . Keeps you rocking with it.1
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Thanks for listening and commenting, carroll! After some additional improvements, I'll make a video for the song. 😎
Cheers,
Joseph
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I like this. Takes me back to the ‘80s synth-pop. My first thought is that it reminded me of “The Metro” by Berlin and also made me think of Ultravox. I’m all for that kind of music. I enjoyed this. 😀
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Thanks for listening and your kind comments @Plain_Jane! I liked Berlin back in the 80s. I'm still working on the demo for this one, with some improvements planned before my video. 😀😎
Cheers,
Joseph
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Howdy, Stranger!