Follow Me Down

robcrozier

Follow me down through the precious winds 

To the distant clover under the ivory moon 

Sing to me, dear as my ears hold steady 

Release your song into the night 

Please break my fall 

as I cry on your shoulder 

As the new day delivers the world 

Climb this tree witness the valley

The rolling hills and the rising dawn

Hear my words now as the sun lingers gently 

On the horizon as we wander back 

Please break my fall 

as I cry on your shoulder 

As the new day delivers the world 

Harp solo 

Chorus Intro chords 

This is a poem that I adapted to music during covid. Home studio action.

https://soundcloud.com/rob-crozier-820155982/follow-me-down/s-7KjMpud3AdM?si=98be4aebeba148a2a06da3ee3a9f61a6&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

[Deleted User]

This a cool light jazz number, @robcrozier. The simple arrangement works well. Good arrangement, vocals, lyrics, and composition. The harmonica solo was a clever, unexpected addition. Nice work! I enjoyed the listen.

Cheers,

Joseph

sidshovel

Rob, I was in two minds whether to say anything or be quiet and hide under my rock.

But since you recently joined the forum like me, and jumped right in and contributed, I feel you deserve better.

Let me say up front, there are some things I am definitely not qualified to talk about.

Poetry, Opera, Classical Mussic or anything involving bagpipes!

With that in mind, I loved the music its lilting and haunting quality was lovely and complemented by your singing,

The part that didn't seem to fit was the lyrics, the raw lines of poetry seemed forced into the music. The outcome becoming more of a narration with the music as background. I think, that with different lyrics you would have a very good song on your hands.

I apologise if my comments come across as too harsh, I really want to be constructive. Please wait to hear from more experienced songwriters than I, maybe I am completely wrong, I hope I am!

Regards,

Sid

robcrozier

Thanks, Joseph! I appreciate you giving it a listen.

Sid, thanks for giving it a try. No biggie. Maybe I could get two songs out of it. :)

RainyDayMan

Very cool jazz feel.

I like that chorus! Though I would put the emphasis on "new day" rather than "new day" if it was me, and also go up in pitch there.

Is that a real double bass? It's a great sound whatever it is!

carroll

Digging the vocals. Smooth delivery.

robcrozier

Thanks RDM, for the comments. I'll try that. That's my actual string bass on that one. Me, myself and I in the studio. One nice thing about playing several instruments......

Thanks, Carroll!