My journey
Lyrics Me; Music - Suno
https://suno.com/s/3k8lUBW3UVSDB1WI
[Verse 1]
Kneeling before the goddess
The protector of the crossroads
I am now, neither alive nor dead
Suspended in realms of moments
But moments are always fleeting
Is this my end? Please tell me
The protector remains silent
I close my eyes and bow my head
To pray, not to a god whose merely
Just an illusion, no, but to the
Protector, whose divine power can
Grant me, what I've long desired
[Bridge]
The protector finally speaks, our reality is of our choosing
[Verse 2]
Melancholic sounds of the beach
Fill my essence. The warm breeze
The seafoam spray, the ebb and flow
Of the tide, calms my very soul
I open my eyes; I am not where I
Was, but where I needed to be
I am at one, but not with the earth
A faraway reflection catches my eye
I see, a vision of silky red hair
Brightly radiant in the summer sun,
The warm glowing smile as blue eyes
Reflect deep layers of fond memories
I hold firmly to heart, only to realize
My journey is now complete, I am.
Comments
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Great poetry and wordsmithing.
The music is supportive in metal style.
I don't think I'd ever hear this on the radio... I think it could work in a movie spot.
On its own it may be too long and it doesn't lead anywhere.
The trick to getting your message across is making it entertaining enough to reward listener for taking the time.
But deep stuff, you definitely have a fire in you0 -
Never claimed to understand half of your work Bill, so I'll leave others to comment on the lyrics! What I do appreciate is what must have gone into getting this out of Suno. You either sweated over this one or struck gold with the first shovel load. It's an amazing piece of work, up there with your best, yeah, an' I get the Doors.
Well done, an outstanding piece of art.
Sid
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Thanks for the comments. I realized later that I should have split them up in more verses. Too long in what aspect?
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Thanks sid. I got lucky with the prompt. it only took two tries. the first, the song was over 5 mins long and every single word was drawn out. :).. I think rather than 2 long verses, I should split them up into a total of 4 verses. what do you think?
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@bhengen
Long in the sense that it's the same bit, the whole way, without some diversion it seems long.
No real refrain. Not all songs have them. My crit is on the structure, not the content
A song like the doors "the end" has alot of motifs guitar wise and moving parts, it drifts into other parts, has a chorus in front and at the end
My two0 -
I agree it needs to be broken up a bit more. and sped up a bit.. it was worse the first take.. i'll have to think about it. thanks for the input, :)
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There's some tricks of the trade using ai that might work to build this into a doors like epic
But not sure anybody wants to know how though lol0 -
@domd - what a lot of musicians do is get the initial layout done in Suno, then stem it out and put into a DAW, then clean it up and add different effects. If I knew how to work a DAW, that's what I would do. but I don't have the time right now to learn it.
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@bhengen Bill, a song as good as this takes you on a journey, a long straight road even with good scenery can become boring because you can see what's ahead. Interest and anticipation come from not knowing and then enlightenment around the bends. Read up on power curves in songs and then play with introducing them via Suno prompts before each section. This will give you an added dimension to your work and draw the listener even further in.
View the song more in terms of hills and dips, straights and bends.
Your work is getting more complex and interesting as you master and fine-tune Suno, so keep at it.
Look forward to your next offering.
Best,
Sid
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Thanks for the advice, I'll read up on it :).
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What a ride! So different. I'm also amazed that you were able to get that out of AI.
It's a piece you need to be in the mood for, but I really enjoyed it.
I love that "I am" is the completion of the journey. Feels both spiritual and powerful.
Good stuff, Bill
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Thanks owen. I thought it was a bit too slow moving. based on the comments I was right. tbh, i think you're the only one that made it to the end 😂
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Love this so dark song and story and its so Spanish-oriental feeling. Nice vocals delivery too and deep journey accompanying your's @bhengen
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Thanks mora, :)
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