Sailor
Well here it goes…
Sailor
Wide ocean I can’t sense you inside A‘
Wide ocean clear peaceful water
Bubbles creatures of all colour
The sunlight shimmers on the streams
And at night a lighthouse guides me
To a safe harbour that’s nearby
Ant there I lie in my hammock
Protected by the bright moonbeams
Wild ocean I feel you inside A+
Wild ocean storms and waves so high
Filled only with sharks of all kind
And there is no place to hide
Getting seasick while I’m watching
Afraid of the darkness that I see
I’m scared don’t know if I survive
To make it through I have to fight
Wish I could sail in harmony B
But I guess I’ll never be
Wish I could sail in harmony
Happy and free
In harmony
Happy and free
Waves like mountains lightning and thunder
The sails are all torn apart C
Waves like mountains lightning and thunder
No lifeboat and all alone
Why is this sailor‘s life so hard?
Wild ocean I feel you inside A*
Wild ocean storms and waves so high
And there is no place to hide
All I can do is fight
©️by Ian P./ 17.05.2025/for: VALENTINE+B
Comments
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@RainbowKeeper - no, I disagree.. it completes the loop. and ends on a statement. there is nothing wrong with the lyrics. it'd be interesting to hear this set to music :) well done
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Agree with Bill, well rounded. A very descriptive piece RK, draws you in and surrounds you. Powerful and well thought out.
You put the reader inside the narrator to feel his fears, brilliant!
Outstanding piece of writing, well done.
Sid
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I like this, but I feel like you might swap A and A+ around. If you start with storms and waves, then go peaceful, the desire for harmony and then back to thunder and lightning it feels like a better progression to me.
Love all the visuals!
1 -
Thank you guys you are very kind!0
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@RainbowKeeper I love this lyric. Great job with the use of metaphor! And I agree with Owen switching A, A+. I also agree with bhengen that you've made the full loop. And your final line is most correct because in the end we gotta fight and never give up.
For what my 2-cents is worth I would love to hear this lyric set to music.
Renee
✍️ Keep writing 'cuz it always helps ease the pain and maybe one day you could get off those yucky meds ? Don't know your story but I wish you the best.
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Ty hummer!1
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Sailor
Wild ocean I feel you inside A‘
Wild ocean storms and waves so high
Filled only with sharks of all kind
And there is no place to hide
Getting seasick while I’m watching
Afraid of the darkness that I see
I’m scared don’t know if I survive
To make it through I have to fight
Wide ocean I can’t sense you inside A+
Wide ocean clear peaceful water
Bubbles creatures of all colour
The sunlight shimmers on the streams
And at night a lighthouse guides me
To a safe harbour that’s nearby
And there I lie in my hammock
Protected by the bright moonbeams
Wish I could sail in harmony B
But I guess I’ll never be
Wish I could sail in harmony
Happy and free
In harmony
Happy and free
Waves like mountains lightning and thunder
The sails are all torn apart C
Waves like mountains lightning and thunder
No lifeboat and all alone
Why is this sailor‘s life so hard?
Wild ocean I feel you inside A*
Wild ocean storms and waves so high
And there is no place to hide
All I can do is fight
©️by Ian P./ 17.05.2025/for: VALENTINE+B0 -
@RainbowKeeper You're welcome! Looking forward to more what you got!
Renee
0
Howdy, Stranger!