Fall
I may have posted this a long time ago on the old site -
The wonders of AI - thanks to stem separation, did a new mix of this song and a new vocal with auto-tune
This was originally written in 1987. recorded around 2007
https://jgkojak.bandcamp.com/track/fall
FALL
Thing is time was
Too late for a change
Time is right now
There's no turning back again
Lost in the desert
Searching for water
Watching the mighty jungle fall
Fall
Dark days still nights
The world was once on fire
Still here now there
Everythings down to the wire
Finding no answers
We'll march through the streets
and we'll watch the lonely cities
Fall
Watch them fall
When no answer are given
Nothing short of the truth
All at once the world is turning
Look around witness the proof
Lost in the jungle
Under ths streetlights
Stand together and watch it fall
Watch it fall
Whoa oh oh
Fall
It all falls down
It all falls down
It all falls down
Comments
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This isn't my favorite of yours.
It's got a strong rhythm but I feel like it needs something to give it a kick along. The chords feel a little bland.
You've got quite a dramatic lyric, but against the disco backing it loses power.
"It all falls down" , "Watch them fall" feel like things you could really sing out on. Linger on.
Rather than the constant rhythm you might look at coming to a dead stop on a drum beat for emphasis and drama.
Give it some power and punch.
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I like the melody but for some reason, it doesn't seem to fit the lyrics.
It gives me the old-school 80's movies (The Breakfast Club).
There's something missing.
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The song's good, but there's no drive. Perhaps not helped by the low volume. The whole mix just needs to come right up. Some mastering software might help here.
You could also try using Ai software to separate the drum track and lift it in the mix.
Don't let my comments put you off. i like your music, but this just needs a bit of tlc to bring it alive.😀
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