From The River To The Sea
My main question on this one as it is a rewrite from several months ago, is V2. Should I have mentioned "Syria", too? Or, should I have kept it more on GAZA and Palestine? And, this song is NOT intended to start a debate over who's right, who's wrong.
Thanks so much for any feedback on this historical song you might offer,
Renee
For a listen to coffeehouse ===> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/from-the-river-to-the-sea
FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA
[Intro]
My heart goes out to
All the children caught in the crossfire
My heart goes out to
All the mothers left behind weeping
[Refrain]
From the river to the sea may Palestine be free
From the river to the sea may Palestine be free
[Verse 1]
Centuries of tending to the land
Guided by the Almighty’s right hand
There’s no new thing under the sun
The Fire and the Flame yet to come
[Refrain]
From the river to the sea may Palestine be free
From the river to the sea may Palestine be free
Oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh, Oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh
[Verse 2]
Now they’ve gone and toppled Syria, too
Pretty soon, there’ll be no sky of blue
O’ Jerusalem, how Jesus loved you so
He will not let this travesty go
[Refrain 2x]
From the river to the sea may Palestine be free
From the river to the sea may Palestine be free, everybody!
From the river to the sea may Palestine be free
From the river to the sea may Palestine be free
Oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh, Oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh
[Outro]
My heart goes out to
All the children caught in the crossfire
My heart goes out to
All the mothers…left behind weeping.
©️ 2024 Renee La Chapelle - All Rights Reserved
Comments
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Syria doesn't feel out of place in terms of suffering, and the children and mothers mentioned in the Intro.
They are separate conflicts with different parties involved so saying "they’ve gone and toppled Syria" mixes them together in a way that feels a bit out to me (though it may not to others!). You might just re-arrange that more like: "Now Syria's fallen too" to avoid the "they" reference.
But either way I think it's clear your focus here is on the misery inflicted on the people and the land.
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@RainyDayMan thank you for your thoughts. I like that fix! Let me try it out!
Renee
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I'm not much into politics , I'd make sure your references are right
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@ElvisNash oh, they're abSOlutely right. I don't write on such serious topics without doing extensive homework first, but GREAT point! This song took historical evidence as well as Biblical.
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I'm not much on religion either , they've been fighting for 10000's of years
I see no value in a dusty book , But religion is a big part of people lives , So it's on target once you nail it, and target it to the right audience on promotion . Politics brings friction , why we have wars . My Gods better than your God , lets kill each other , pointless cave men ,
Again you have to promote to the right audience
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@ElvisNash I don't know the first thing about promotion. I write to write. It's just something I love to do. But I am delighted to be here at TSF knowing somebody's listening and the feedback is golden. I really love your music and am happy we've become acquainted.
Renee
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No worries , its just reaching a fan base on promotion
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Howdy, Stranger!