Make The Rain Go Away
Hello there. The opening verse of this lyric, almost in its' entirety was a part of the first poem I ever wrote back in the early 80's. Last night, I took a stab at rewriting the rest of it and making it a lyric.
I began songwriting as a way to have something in common with my first true love, Duncan of whom I originally wrote the poem for is the subject of this lyric, still today.
Thank you so much for any feedback you might offer.
Have a lovely writing day!
Renee
For a listen ====> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/make-the-rain-go-away
MAKE THE RAIN GO AWAY
[Verse 1]
You took me out of the rain
And brought me into the sun
You took me to places
Places, I'd never been
From you I have gained
The love I was blinded from
Tho’ we went our sep’rate ways
Unlike anyone
[Chorus]
You always knew just what to say
To make the rain go away
Make the rain go away
I owe a piece of my heart to you
To this very day, yeah-ee-yaay
[Verse 2]
You gave me my first set of chimes
From my curtain rod, they hang
Butterflies of tarnished brass
No prettier tune ever rang
And you gave me rhyme
For you, I wrote my first song
Tho’ we had our ups an’ downs
I never found you wrong
[Chorus]
You always knew just what to say
To make the rain go away
Make the rain go away
I owe a piece of my heart to you
To this very day, yeah-ee-yaay, yeah-ee-yaay, yeah-ee-yaay
[Bridge]
It’s no small wonder
You loved cloudy days the most
Hammerin’ out a ballad for me
On your Fender Rhodes
[Instrumental]
[Chorus 2]
You always knew just what to say
To make the rain go away
Make the rain go away
I owe a piece of my heart to you
To this very day, yeah-ee-yaay, yeah-ee-yaay, yeah-ee-yaay . . .
© 2024 Renee La Chapelle – All Rights Reserved
Comments
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your lyrics always speak from the heart
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@bhengen Thank you so much. That means the most to me. On this one, I'd certainly agree. You don't wanna hear my other side, lol! 🤣
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Can't say it better than @bhengen
I loved this line: "Butterflies of tarnished brass"
For me "Unlike anyone" didn't flow on smoothly from the previous line, but this is such a personal song, and only you can say how it should be.
It's a sweet and loving song.
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@RainyDayMan I'll keep that in mind...I had something else there if I can recall, dang it, I can't remember!
Renee
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This song made me think that heartbreak and rain are one in the same. Now there may be another song in there somewhere
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@Barry Thank you! I hope you get a song out of it!
Renee
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Excellent Renee, soft and touching lyrics. Even without listening to the audio, the words flowed beautifully.
Having said that, your presentation was very good, just right for the thoughts and feelings.
Enjoyed this very much indeed.
Well done,
Sid
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Beautifully written, deeply performed, just a great ear melting piece Renee. Can't help but wonder...who was Duncan? What ever became of this person?
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@StoneFlowers Thanks for asking: Duncan was my first true love. Met him when I was just sixteen. He is a pop-musician; always was from the time I met him. We were together for eight years until he met somebody new who would become his wife. He writes his own music, plays piano. He also does cover material. He actually has a Youtube channel and finding him on there a few months ago sparked some new songs for me. He's still happily married (last I knew) with, I believe, 3 children; two boys and a girl, if memory serves. I haven't spoken with him in many years. Anyways, that's the story and I'm stickin' to it! Here's his YT channel if you wanna check him out===> https://www.youtube.com/@duncanbabcock1960
Have a nice night, Stoney!
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@sidshovel thank you so much. Being here on SWF has really helped me move along. The people here are a true blessing. And I'm really enjoying doing my best helping others; a feeling which can't be beat!
Truly,
Renee
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Good tune! FWIW, if it were my song, I might want to switch things around in the choruses and pace the "oo" and "ay" rhymes out a bit differently so that the choruses and the song itself end with the title/hook:
I owed a piece of heart to you
and and that's still true to . . .
this very day
to this very day
You always knew just what to do
and what to say to . . .
make the rain go away
make the rain go away
Just an idea.
David
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Howdy, Stranger!