You Don't Fit In My Kitchen
A while ago, my daughter FaceTimed me to provide a guided tour of her beautiful but very small new apartment. The idea for this song came to me as we were talking. I recently went back and reworked it a bit. All comments/suggestions appreciated, as always :)
https://soundcloud.com/themysteriousbeings/you-dont-fit-in-my-kitchen
YOU DON'T FIT IN MY KITCHEN
I woke up on the couch again this morning, empty cans and a pain in my head
My baby wasn't there, so I called her, and you'll never guess what she said
I got a new apartment, all shiny and clean
With all new appliances, that new apartment sheen
Getting rid of all of that junk I don't need, everything’s brand new
And when I say all of that junk, honey, that includes you too
‘Cause you don't fit in my kitchen, there simply isn't space
And I don't want you on my couch, cluttering up the place
Your face, your clothes, heaven knows you don't fit with my decor
The only place where you'd look right is on the other side of my door
You can keep all those dishes piled up in the sink
Figure out how to wash ‘em, they're starting to stink
And when your friends come round to play video games, drink beer and eat wings
They can use the vacuum cleaner. It's that big old wheely thing.
‘Cause you don't fit in my kitchen, there simply isn't space
And I don't want you on my couch, cluttering up the place
Your face, your clothes, heaven knows you don't fit with my decor
The only place where you'd look right is on the other side of my door
Don't come moanin' on my entryphone 'n
Telling me you're broken-hearted
Stay down there, I just wanna breathe air
In which you haven't farted
‘Cause you don't fit in my kitchen, there simply isn't space
And I don't want you on my couch, cluttering up the place
Your face, your clothes, heaven knows you don't fit with my decor
The only place where you'd look right is on the other side of my door
Copyright 2021 Gavin Sinclair
Comments
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Clever tune, Gavin, and very amusing! 🤣 Good vocals, arrangement, and structure. I like it!
Two of my favorite lines in the song were:
You can keep all those dishes piled up in the sink
Figure out how to wash ‘em, they're starting to stink
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Ha ha...in the same spirit as your recent Christmas offering. I get the feeling there's someone in your life you would ideally like to be rid of!! I can't offer my services as a hit man, but I did rather enjoy this jolly escapade. Wish I could whistle!! Keep em comin' mate. I love it😀
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Thanks Icy and Chris.
Chris, no, nobody like that - at least not now lol. I think this would be better with a female vocalist. Since I didn't have one to hand, I added the intro so that it made sense with me singing it. I guess you might see this as the female response to the Christmas song, assuming that you're referring to "All I Want For Christmas Is Your Fat Ass To Be Gone." 😉
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Simply lovely melody on the whistle!
Very clever, indeed!
Very well done!
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Thank you, Rene. Just a bit of fun and the melody certainly is simple.
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Very cute lyric line. The tune reminds me of old 45 RPM records from the 60.
Very nice indeed.😀
😀John B
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I knew this was going to be witty and fun. I love your humor. It's totally relatable (I think -lol). I always enjoy your creative songs.
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Thanks for listening and commenting, John and Andrea.
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Hola @OnlyGavin
hahaha It sounds great your break heart song!! Arrangement, mix, love the bass, your voice, lyrics so amusing but heavy!!! I enjoyed it a lot!!! and the whistle!!!
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Hi @OnlyGavin
What a lovely song. The story is brilliantly told: telling a certain truth within the confines on humour.
The slide/pedal playing is perfect sitting in the background. I love the melody of the whistling. Also a lovey, balanced mix that keeps everything clear.
All the best,
CCB0 -
Thank you Mora. Glad you enjoyed it. Maybe I'll just whistle through all my songs. It has to be better than my singing LOL.
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