folk pop — The Songwriters Forum

Take Me To Heaven

HummerWisdom — Tue, 03 Jun 2025 12:39:29 +0000

Hello there. Looking for any suggestions to make this song better. I feel it falls flat, pre-chorus chords/melody and lyrically, unsure if the chorus gets the right point across. This person doesn't want to die per say, but just wants a peek preview of what Heaven is truly like as she struggles to be righteous and happy in an unrighteous world. At least that's what the song means to me. Does that even make any sense?

Thanks so much for your helpful feedback, Renee

For a listen ==> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/take-me-to-heaven

TAKE ME TO HEAVEN

Try as I may to travel the straight and narrow

I can’t seem to eradicate this kink in my arrow

And when I’m havin’ a bad day, slime falls from my lips

They’ve all fallen, Father, I’m all out ‘a chips, and

[Pre-Chorus]

What I wouldn’t do for a hand to hold

Strolling down beautiful streets of gold

Heaven’s a place where nobody gets old

Never find yourself alone out in the cold

[Chorus]

Take me to Heaven

Take me to Heaven, Lord

For just one day, show me the way, show me what I’m missin’

Lord, take me to Heaven

And babe, when I’m in your arms, heaven, as close as it gets

But your arms been around someone else, smell her cigarettes

And goin’ it alone, these days, you can’t afford the rent

And I know you can’t take it with you but my money’s all spent

[Pre-Chorus]

And what I wouldn’t do for a hand to hold

Strolling down beautiful streets of gold

Heaven’s a place where nobody gets old

Never find yourself alone out in the cold

[Chorus]

Take me to Heaven

Take me to Heaven, Lord

For just one day, show me the way, show me what I’m missin’

Lord, take me to Heaven

And I ain’t sayin’ it’s all bad just there’s more bad than good

And when things turn out right there’s always knockin’ on wood

But somehow, I expected more from God’s kingdom here on earth

It’s gonna take more than Noah’s Great Flood for a golden rebirth

[Chorus]

Take me to Heaven

Take me to Heaven, Lord

For just one day, show me the way, show me what I’m missin’

Lord, take me to Heaven

[Bridge]

Wanna hear angels sing for the hope it brings, a place where there’s just one King

Just one righteous King

[Chorus]

Take me to Heaven

Take me to Heaven, Lord

For just one day, show me the way, show me what I’m missin’

Take me to Heaven

Take me to Heaven, Lord

For just one day, show me the way, show me what I’m missin’

[Chorus]

Take me to Heaven

Take me to Heaven, Lord

For just one day, show me the way, show me what I’m missin’

Lord, take me to Heaven..

Don't Run Me Down

HummerWisdom — Sat, 31 May 2025 16:08:56 +0000

Hello good people; the best people in the world, Songwriters! Having a ball here on TSF! This song, I wrote for my dear friend, Patrick aka 'Zoner', who I hadn't seen in some time. Back in the day, we'd sit at the park at our favorite picnic table taking turns, coming up with lines for songs. Lots of fun, great memories. We had a falling out over the Covid-mess and politics in general thus, we stayed distant for awhile, till he called me up on the phone, had a decent conversation, went to help him moving into his new condo, and then....

This song is a result of the heart-wrenching feeling I got at how much he had aged in so little time. The title came from his own lips as V2 describes. I tried to re-color the hook/title each time around so it would have different meanings. Don't know if I pulled it off as well as it could be. Anyway, I appreciate your feedback, suggestions, comments. Sorry, I got long-winded on this one...it must be the weekend...yaaaaay!!!

And as suggested by some of you, recently, I went on my own on this one; guitar/vocal, stripped down. Though, I cheated a bit, grabbed a pretty chord progression from a backing track on YouTube. So, there's that..

For a listen ==> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/dont-run-me-down

DON’T RUN ME DOWN

Can’t you see I’m on my last leg?

My heart’s been through the mud

That’s the feeling I got when I saw my friend today

I could see it in his eyes he’s had enough

And it occurred to me as I was drivin’ home

A strong man is now delicate

And getting old is a sum-gun

And that freight train ain’t no stoppin’ it

[Chorus]

Don’t run me down

Oh, ‘cuz if you run me down, I may never come around

Don’t run me down

And while I’m ten years younger than him

Feel that bulldozer strike my bones

But I was glad I could help my friend today

Lord knows, he shouldn’t be on his own

And crossing Kroger’s parkin’ lot

A car was coming upon us fast

And with a chuckle, Patrick said to him:

‘Don’t run me down’; all he asked:

[Chorus]

Don’t run me down

Oh, ‘cuz if you run me down, I may never come around

Don’t run me down

And now that both my parents are gone

There’s that gnawing that I’m next

And I pray to God I’m not a nuisance to anyone

Staying independent I’ve done my best

And should I witness old-age up close

I pray I take my final breath in peace

And may my name be in the Book of Life

May I finally find relief

[Chorus]

Don’t run me down

Don’t run me down, Lord

Oh, ‘cuz if You run me down, I may never come around

Oooooh-ooooh, Oooooh-oooooh

[Chorus]

Don’t run me down

Don’t run me down, Lord

Oh, ‘cuz if You run me down, I may never come around

Don’t run me down

Don’t run me down, Lord

‘Cuz if You run me down, I may never…I may never come

R O U N D.

Awake or Woke?

HummerWisdom — Sat, 01 Mar 2025 14:26:18 +0000

Good Morning, Songsters! Don't know if this one makes much sense. All I know is that it's fun to sing.

Copy and Pasting from Sid's latest:

Sensitive Topic: I understand there will be others with alternative views and I respect those, but I am only looking for feedback on the song itself, not a debate on the topic. Please respect my wishes.

=====> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/awake-or-woke

AWAKE OR WOKE?

[Chorus]

Are you awake

Or are you woke?

Are you a chick?

Are you a bloke?

Are you a snake

Blowing smoke?

Are you awake

Or are you woke?

[Verse 1]

You knew he was a snake when you let him in

Now that Trump’s in, no getting rid of him

And with his starry-eyed maniac, Elon

DOGE would just assume have us all gone!

[Chorus]

Are you awake

Or are you woke?

Are you a chick?

Are you a bloke?

Are you a snake

Blowing smoke?

Are you awake

Or are you woke?

Do-do-do, do-do-do . . .

[Verse 2]

You knew he was a snake when you let him in

Now that Bibi’s in, no getting rid of him

'Cuz he claims to be of God’s chosen tribe

And Bibi’s taking the Lost Sheep for a ride!

[Chorus]

Are you awake

Or are you woke?

Are you a chick?

Are you a bloke?

Are you a snake

Blowing smoke?

Are you awake

Or are you woke?

Before we go any further, hon, I need to know

This town’s runnin’ low on good seeds to sow, whoa!

[Chorus]

Are you awake

Or are you woke?

Are you a chick?

Are you a bloke?

Are you a snake

Blowing smoke?

Are you awake

Or are you woke?

Do-do-do, do-do-do . . .

[Chorus]

Are you awake

Or are you woke?

Are you a chick?

Are you a bloke?

Are you a snake

Blowing smoke.......?

[Chorus/Tag]

Are you awake

Or are you woke?

Are you a chick?

Are you a bloke?

Are you awake

Or are you woke?

Are you awake

Or are you woke?

Are you awake

Or are you woke?

Play All Day

HummerWisdom — Fri, 21 Feb 2025 17:48:57 +0000

Hello SongLand! Thought I go easy on ya's today with a fun little ditty. Silly thought came this morning...take 'em as they come! Any suggestions are welcome. Sh....just noticed V3 fell off my rhyme scheme....leave it, or? We'll see.

====> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/play-all-day

PLAY ALL DAY

[Chorus 1]

I just wanna play all day

I just wanna play

I just wanna play all day

Make the rain go away

[Verse 1]

Dust off that ol’ guitar

Put on some new strings

I’ll never be a star

But there are worser things

[Verse 2]

The Songwriter’s Forum

Beats FaceBook any day

When I need hopium

I’m well on my way, hey!

[Chorus 1]

I just wanna play all day

Yeh, I just wanna play

I just wanna play all day

Make the rain go away

[Verse 3]

Leave the bills on the table

I’m on a crusade!

Thank God I called in sick

There’s music to be made!

I just wanna, ooh

I just wanna play my guitar all day!

[Verse 4]

That kid with a new toy

No jollier sight to see

Break out the Legos, boy!

Turn off the TV, ‘cuz

[Verse 5]

There is nothing sadder

Than a stolen childhood

The crux of the matter

Go back, if I could, I would, oh

[Chorus2]

I just wanna play all day

In the sandbox all day, yeh

I just wanna play all day

Make the rain go away, yeah

I just wanna, ooh

I just wanna play my guitar all day!

[Chorus1/Tag]

I just wanna play all day

I just wanna play, yeh

Oh, I just wanna play all day

Make the rain go away

Make the rain go away, yeh-ee-yeah!

A Different Life

HummerWisdom — Thu, 20 Feb 2025 14:13:41 +0000

Setting yesterday's mess aside and I'm happy to agree to disagree. I hope you feel the same. As Elvis says, "it's just a song."

Anyway, I could use help on this one as the chords in the chorus are the same as the verses. I tried various other chords but kept going off key. So, if anyone has any suggestions for chords in the verses, please share them. Appreciate all of you!

For a listen ===> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/a-different-life

A DIFFERENT LIFE

[Chorus]

Maybe in a different life

We might’ve gotten along

Sung the same song

[Verse 1]

We would’ve liked each other

Would’ve made each other strong

You would’ve stood up for me

Never would’ve found me wrong

[Chorus]

Maybe in a different life

We might’ve gotten along

Sung the same song

[Verse 2]

Perhaps you’ve been here before

In all of your déjà vu

Perhaps it’s my first time around

I’ve got catching up to do

[Chorus]

Maybe in a different life

We might’ve gotten along

Sung the same song

[Verse 3]

Maybe we get another chance

Maybe we die like the stars

But if there’s another world out there

Maybe I’ll see you on Mars

[Chorus]

Maybe in a different life

We might’ve gotten along

Sung the same song

[Bridge]

Maybe in a

Maybe there’s peace all around

Maybe in a

Maybe harmony abounds

[Music, light whistling]

[Chorus]

Maybe in a different life

We might’ve gotten along

Sung the same song..

Is it Real or, is it AI?

HummerWisdom — Sat, 01 Feb 2025 17:26:03 +0000

Greetings Songsters!

Hot off the Press! I suppose you might say this song is in answer to Bill's latest pointed at AI songs. I hope you like it @bhengen, truly, I do! Just my questioning; my muse, my take..

Lyrics and Music by yours truly, HummerWisdom

For a listen to stripped-down, just little ol' me and my 'Tik Tok, four-four' ===> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/is-it-real-or-is-it-ai

And, you GOTTA have FUN with it...or, else. 😍

IS IT REAL, OR IS IT AI?

[Verse 1]

It makes me feel

It must be real

It makes me feel

It must be real

[Refrain]

Is it real, or is it AI?

Is it real, or is it AI, yi-ee-yi-ee-yi!

[Verse 2]

Is it the angel

Angel of light?

Is it the angel

Angel of smite?

[Refrain]

Is it real, or is it AI?

Is it real, or is it AI, yi-ee-yi-ee-yi!

[Verse 3]

Is it Ella

Or is it Memorex?

Is it Ella

Or, is it Memorex?

[Verse 4]

Is it live

Or, is it dead?

It’s here to stay

Needs to be fed

[Refrain]

Is it real, or is it AI?

Is it real, or is it AI, yi-ee-yi-ee-yi, yi-ee-yi-ee-yi, yi-ee-yi-ee-yi, yi, yi, yi

[Verse 5]

Just having fun

Fun with it!

Gotta have fun

Fun with it!

[Verse 1 Repeats]

It makes me feel

It must be real

It makes me feel

It must be real

[Refrain x3]

Is it real, or is it AI?

Is it real, or is it AI,

Is it real, or is it AI, yi-ee-yi-ee-yi!

Is it real, or is it AI?

Is it real, or is it AI, yi-ee-yi-ee-yi!

Is it real, or is it AI?

Is it real, or is it AI, yi-ee-yi-ee-yi, yi-ee-yi-ee-yi, ee-yi-ee-yi, yi-yi-yi!

Let Boys Be Boys, Girls Be Girls

HummerWisdom — Wed, 29 Jan 2025 14:29:47 +0000

Hello Songsters! Isn't it wonderful that we can say practically anything we want to in song? That said, thought I'd take a stab at a controversial subject of which shouldn't be controversial whatsoever. That said, no disrespect; just my take on a sticky situation...in a light and whimsical way.

As I still have a frog in my throat at times and my left eye has been bothering me (a couple of weeks ago, it was my right eye) (too much screen-time, my guess), and GETTING OLD SUCKS! Anyhow, I did the best I could singing this; needs to be re-sung, re-played (like mostly all or 'em!)

Also, while I tried to deviate verse chords for chorus, it kept going back to using the same chords; sorry. I suppose, I could try harder.

I hope this tune brings a chuckle or two no matter which side of the fence you sit on,

Respectfully,

Renee

For a listen ===> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/let-boys-be-boys-girls-be

LET BOYS BE BOYS, GIRLS BE GIRLS

Do-do, do, Do-do, do, Do-do, do, Do-do,do

[Verse 1]

Do boys still carry girls’ books?

I gotta believe it’s still true

Like I believe God knew what He was doin’

When He created pink and blue

[Chorus]

Let boys be boys, girls be girls

Riding merrily the tilt-a-whirl

Let boys be boys, girls be girls

And we’ll continue to do God’s will propagating this world

[Verse 2]

An’ sometimes gettin’ a black eye

Is worth it when right ain’t wrong

No boy wants to be called ‘Nancy’

And girls like boys brave an’ strong

[Chorus]

Let boys be boys, girls be girls

Riding merrily the tilt-a-whirl

Let boys be boys, girls be girls

And we’ll continue to do God’s will propagating this world

Do-do-do-do, do, do-do-do-do, do

[Verse 3]

Bakin’ cookies isn’t for all girls

That ol’ Rambler, when she needed fixin’

I’d hand Dad screwdrivers and wrenches

Ain’t no contradictin’

[Chorus]

Let boys be boys, girls be girls

Riding merrily the tilt-a-whirl

Let boys be boys, girls be girls

And we’ll continue to do God’s will propagating this world

Do-do-do-do, do, do-do-do-do, do

[Chorus]

Let boys be boys, girls be girls

Riding merrily the tilt-a-whirl

Let boys be boys, girls be girls

And we’ll continue to do God’s will propagating this world, do-do, do-do, do-do….ain’t no Adam and Steve, just Adam and Eve….

[Chorus]

Let boys be boys, girls be girls

Riding merrily the tilt-a-whirl

Let boys be boys, girls be girls

And we’ll continue to do God’s will propagating this world

[Verse 1/Return]

Do boys still carry girls’ books?

I gotta believe it’s still true

Like I believe God knew what He was doin’

When He created pink and blue, ooh-ooh-ooh

I'm A Hurricane

HummerWisdom — Thu, 30 Jan 2025 14:11:21 +0000

These weather songs seem to be going around here on TSF as does the crazy weather around the world. So, I decided to write my own weather song. Wouldn't want to be left behind. Yes. I believe the powers-that-be can control the weather as is evident in this song. After all, you can't play God without controlling the weather. Any feedback is appreciated.

Thought I'd share where the opening line came from; "You can call me 'Sunshine". A customer of mine texted me, 'Good morning, Sunshine'. I took it as a joke because I'm far from Sunshiny and she knows it. That customer happens to be the ex-wife of the son of the great Harlan Howard; the country songwriter who coined the phrase, "Three-Chords-And-The-Truth"!

Just got shocked as this song seems to be picking up some steam on SoundCloud! Not many of my songs do ===> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/im-a-hurricane

I’M A HURRICANE

[Verse 1]

You can call me, ‘Sunshine’

But that wouldn’t be true

I’m the hell-storm

Blackens your sky ‘a blue

They’re drummin’ up a name

As they always do

They’re pushing me westward

And I’m coming for you

[Chorus]

I’m a hurricane

The mightiest of wind

I’m a hurricane

I make Superman’s head spin

I’m a hurricane

A Category 5

If you’re one of the lucky ones

You’ll come out alive

[Verse 2]

Boarding up your windows

This time won’t do

They’re ramping up my speed

Just rubble when I’m through

They’re drumming up a story

As they always do

Across every News station

For everyone to view

[Chorus]

I’m a hurricane

The mightiest of wind

I’m a hurricane

I make Superman’s head spin

I’m a hurricane

A Category 5

If you’re one of the lucky ones

You’ll come out alive

Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh

[Verse 3]

Now, they’re calling in FEMA

For what good that’ll do

Insurance companies won’t pay

Cleanup’s down to you

And they’re drumming up a lie

As they always do

They can’t control the weather

They’ll be telling you

[Chorus]

I’m a hurricane

The mightiest of wind

I’m a hurricane

I make Superman’s head spin

I’m a hurricane

A Category 5

If you’re one of the lucky ones

You’ll come out alive

Ooooh-ooooh-ooooh-ooooh

[Chorus]

I’m a hurricane

The mightiest of wind

I’m a hurricane

I make Superman’s head spin

I’m a hurricane

A Category 5

If you’re one of the lucky ones

You’ll come out alive

[Chorus/Tag]

I’m a hurricane

The mightiest of wind

I’m a hurricane

I make Superman’s head spin

I’m a hurricane

A Category 5

If you’re one of the lucky ones

You’ll come out alive..

I Feel A Song

HummerWisdom — Fri, 24 Jan 2025 15:56:48 +0000

This little ditty goes out to @robwills - I hopes you likes it, my USA friend! Any feedback is welcome and thank you so much for listening. Don't know where I'd be without TSF pushing me along to get better (hopefully, better).

For a listen to Pop-Folk (i think) ===> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/i-feel-a-song

I FEEL A SONG

Do-do-do, dut…Do-do-do, dut

[Verse 1]

Hooks are everywhere

In my head, in the air

Long as I take care to write ‘em down

My song will come around

[Chorus]

I feel a song

I feel a song comin’ on

Ain’t no right or wrong

‘Cuz it’s my song

[Verse 2]

It can happen anytime

In my sleep, while I drive

When we’re together or I’m alone

I’m writing down the bones

[Chorus]

I feel a song

I feel a song comin’ on

Ain’t no right or wrong

‘Cuz it’s my song

Do-do-do, dut…Do-do-do, dut

[Verse 3]

Like it, not everybody

Needs to like it, it’s funny

‘Cuz if you don’t like it somebody will

Do it just for the thrill

[Chorus]

I feel a song

I feel a song comin’ on

Ain’t no right or wrong

‘Cuz it’s my song

Do-do-do, dut…Do-do-do, dut

[Chorus 2x]

I feel a song

I feel a song comin’ on

Ain’t no right or wrong

‘Cuz it’s my song

Do-do-do, dut…Do-do-do, dut

The American Way

HummerWisdom — Tue, 21 Jan 2025 13:22:47 +0000

Hello Good People~

While I'm not all that patriotic these mad days, I believe largely in The Constitution of the United States and especially the 1st and the 2nd Amendments. There's a reason the Forefathers placed them at the top.

That said, this little three-chord-and-the-truth came along. Any feedback is much appreciated.

Thank you for listening ===> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/the-american-way

The American Way

[Chorus]

Say watcha mean

Mean watcha say

No mincing words

The American way

[Verse 1]

The First Amendment

Is mighty fine

Along with the Second

A firm lifeline

If you don’t like it

You can leave

You won’t find better

Better believe

[Chorus]

Say watcha mean

Mean watcha say

No mincing words

The American way

[Verse 2]

There are politicians

In high places

Pushing PC

To cover all bases

But their agenda

It ain’t freedom

Nor is it just, I say

Who needs ‘em?

[Chorus]

Say watcha mean

Mean watcha say

No mincing words

The American way

Do-do-do, do-do-do, Do-do-do, do

…….Say watcha mean

Mean watcha say…….

[Chorus]

Say watcha mean

Mean watcha say

No mincing words

The American way

[Verse 1 Repeats]

The First Amendment

Is mighty fine

Along with the Second

A firm lifeline

If you don’t like it

You can leave

You won’t find better

Better believe

…….Say watcha mean

Mean watcha say…….

Do-do-do, do-do-do, Do-do-do, do

[Chorus]

Say watcha mean

Mean watcha say

No mincing words

The American

The American way of life.