Friday night
Wanted something like the piano man, but ended up with a cross between theme song to cheers and don mclean :)
https://suno.com/song/f5ad7134-60c2-4f2f-9c96-c4dcb2ae5515
[Verse 1]
It's early on a Friday night
Just off work, I'm feeling alright
Riding in a cab through the town
To a little bar that's rundown
In a part where few people go,
Under the neon's flickering glow
[Chorus]
At the bar, where everyone goes,
To get lost in the melodies
And to drink away their troubles
Unbind their souls, and become free
[Verse 2]
It's dimly lit and smells of smoke,
Beer, and filled with the usual folk
Like the waitress who is always here
With thick makeup and calls you dear
And the drunk that thinks he's funny
Next to a guy that never has any money
[Chorus]
At the bar, where everyone goes,
To get lost in the melodies
And to drink away their troubles
Unbind their souls, and become free
[Verse 3]
In the back corner of the room
Sits a couple on their honeymoon
Spilling champagne all over the place
Having a good time and smiles on their face
Drunken singing, off-key and very Loudly
She shows off her diamond ring very proudly
[Chorus]
At the bar, where everyone goes,
To get lost in the melodies
And to drink away their troubles
Unbind their souls, and become free
[Verse 4]
Every night the band plays the usual songs
But the people don't care, and just sing along
Dressed in badly fitting suits and worn shoes
Playing everything from pop to rhythm and blues
They get free drinks because it doesn't pay well
Tired of playing the same set, but you can't tell
[Chorus]
At the bar, where everyone goes,
To get lost in the melodies
And to drink away their troubles
Unbind their souls, and become free
[Bridge]
It's closing time and as people leave,
They exit, staggering and weaving
Through windows you can see the dawn,
The bartender cleans as the music plays on
Riding in a cab through the town we go
Leaving behind the flickering neon's glow
[Chorus]
At the bar, where everyone goes,
To get lost in the melodies
And to drink away their troubles
Unbind their souls, and become free
Comments
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The descriptions are very vivid, I could picture it all. I think the verses are stronger than the chorus in this one.
I didn't really have any expectations for the music, so it felt pretty good to me, though again the chorus not quite as strong as the verses.
But very easy to listen to, and held my interest throughout.
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Exceptional Bill, truely outstanding. You paint a masterpiece with words and draw the listener in.
I'm gonna save this one, cos there's a lot to learn from this.
It's an absolute joy to listen to your work Bill.
Big fan
Sid
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@RainyDayMan - Thanks owen, i agree the chorus does need work. kept having both the piano man and cheers stuck in my head while trying to think of something. any suggestions?
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@sidshovel . thanks.. that means a lot.. being a big fan of billy joel and the way he can tell a story is amazing.. painting pictures with words. the same with don mclean and american pie.. how they can weave ideology effortlessly
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I like the "To get lost in the melodies" line there. Perhaps there is something around strangers getting together and getting lost in the melodies?
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Cool song, Bill. I have to agree with Owen in that the verses seem stronger than the chorus. I wouldn't mind hearing the hook/title in the chorus if that's something you would consider. The only other thing that struck me is the beginning of Verse 4 but I could be wrong; "Every night . . ." Feeling like it takes away from Friday Night.
Beautiful piano and love the singer's voice. Yeah, the music is really cool in that it suits your lyric. And the chorus does ring better sung than just reading it.
Love Verse 3 especially,
Renee
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@RainyDayMan, @HummerWisdom - Changed the chorus, i think this sounds better, but may need smore refinement, changed every to tonight in verse 4. .let me know what you think
[Verse 1]
It's early on a Friday night
Just off work, I'm feeling alright
Riding in a cab through the town
To a little bar that's rundown
In a part where few people go,
Under the neon's flickering glow
[Chorus]
Give me Friday nights where
I can escape from life's miseries,
To be with my close bar friends
And get lost in the melodies.
[Verse 2]
It's dimly lit and smells of smoke,
Beer, and filled with the usual folk
Like the waitress who is always here
With thick makeup and calls you dear
And the drunk that thinks he's funny
Next to a guy that never has any money
[Chorus]
Give me Friday nights where
I can escape life's miseries,
To be with my close bar friends
And get lost in the melodies.
[Verse 3]
In the back corner of the room
Sits a couple on their honeymoon
Spilling champagne all over the place
Having a good time and smiles on their face
Drunken singing, off-key and very Loudly
She shows off her diamond ring very proudly
[Chorus]
Give me Friday nights where
I can escape life's miseries,
To be with my close bar friends
And get lost in the melodies.
[Verse 4]
Tonight, the band plays the usual songs
But the people don't care, and just sing along
Dressed in badly fitting suits and worn shoes
Playing everything from pop to rhythm and blues
They get free drinks because it doesn't pay well
Tired of playing the same set, but you can't tell
[Chorus]
Give me Friday nights where
I can escape life's miseries,
To be with my close bar friends
And get lost in the melodies.
[Bridge]
It's closing time and as people leave,
They exit, staggering and weaving
Through windows you can see the dawn,
The bartender cleans as the music plays on
Riding in a cab through the town we go
Leaving behind the flickering neon's glow
[Chorus]
Give me Friday nights where
I can escape life's miseries,
To be with my close bar friends
And get lost in the melodies.
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@bhengen Love the changes you made; can't wait to hear it! If it were mine, I might say in line 3 "To be with my barroom friends", but that's just me being my usual idiot self! 😍
Renee
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@HummerWisdom - Renee, I haven't updated the music yet.. I just posted the update lyrics :)
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@HummerWisdom - Oh, I got the idea for the chorus from the song drift away by dobie gray.. - Oh, give me the beat boys and free my soul / I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away. brilliant song
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This is good, I can see the bar, and the bad fitting suits, from my stool as I listened from the corner of the bar. I'm looking forward to hearing it with the chorus changes. Verse 4 is my favorite, but they all tell the story in my mind.
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I think it's improving.
It feels like the 1st line of the chorus should end in "I" → Give me Friday nights where I
And perhaps the 3rd line isn't quite there yet. Maybe: Surround myself with friends and drinks ?
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Coming along nicely Bill
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@sidshovel , @RainyDayMan, @Barry , @HummerWisdom
I adjusted the lyrics a bit and changed the chorus. this sounds better to me...
https://suno.com/song/b76abb45-d667-4d64-a081-8a623d73ad29
[Verse 1]
It's early on a Friday night
Just off work, feeling alright
Riding in a cab through town
To a little bar that's rundown
In a part where few people go,
Under the neon's flickering glow
[Chorus]
Friday nights are where I can unwind
Leave life woes and worries behind
Sharing drinks, laughter and song
Lost in the melodies all night long
[Verse 2]
It's dimly lit and smells of smoke,
Beer, and filled with the usual folk
Like the waitress who is always here
With thick makeup and calls you dear
And the drunk that thinks he's funny
Next to a guy that never has any money
[Chorus]
Friday nights are where I can unwind
Leave life woes and worries behind
Sharing drinks, laughter and song
Lost in the melodies all night long
[Verse 3]
In the back corner of the room
Sits a couple on their honeymoon
Spilling champagne all over the place
Having a good time and smiles on their face
Drunken singing, off-key and very Loudly
She shows off her diamond ring very proudly
[Chorus]
Friday nights are where I can unwind
Leave life woes and worries behind
Sharing drinks, laughter and song
Lost in the melodies all night long
[Verse 4]
Tonight the band plays the usual songs
But the people don't care, and just sing along
Dressed in badly fitting suits and worn shoes
Playing everything from pop to rhythm and blues
They get free drinks because it doesn't pay well
Tired of playing the same set, but you can't tell
[Chorus]
Friday nights are where I can unwind
Leave life woes and worries behind
Sharing drinks, laughter and song
Lost in the melodies all night long
[Bridge]
It's closing time and as people leave,
They exit, staggering and weaving
Through windows you can see the dawn,
The bartender cleans as the music plays on
Riding in a cab through the town we go
Leaving behind the flickering neon's glow
[Chorus]
Friday nights are where I can unwind
Leave life woes and worries behind
Sharing drinks, laughter and song
Lost in the melodies all night long
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OMG!!! And I mean that in the UTMOST way, @bhengen !!! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this song! MUCH better not that it wasn't great already. But what you did with the chorus is stupendous!! And the music is sooooo beautiful!! I'd say you got your 'Billy Joel' !! And I might add it does NOT bother me one bit that the rhyme scheme is the same throughout; not one bit because I believe it adds that genuine feeling and it drives that genuinely wonderful Friday Night! 😍
Your devoted fan,
Renee
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Nicely done Bill.
I like "Leave life woes and worries behind" , and the chorus altogether is feeling very solid now.
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@HummerWisdom , @RainyDayMan .Thanks to both of you.. it does sound a lot better..
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The adjustments improved an already good song Bill, well done.
Love it.
Sid
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@bhengen any time, Bill and you've been very forthright and helpful with my songs as well, thank you!
Renee
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@sidshovel, thanks.. this was a fun song..
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