(Lyric Only for Now) It Felt So Right
Trying to finish this up. I'll be happy to look at any of you guys suggestions.
It Felt So Right
Cough a glimpse of you and I was hypnotized
Our eyes pulled together as if to be magnetized
Attraction hit us like a double shot of hillbilly moonshine
I said to you, "You look like an angel to me, can you fly?"
Giggling your reply, "Like fireworks on the forth of July."
It got hotter than a torch when your lips ignited mine
We were...
Two lonely hearts that met in the night
Two lonely souls needing to be held tight
Two bodies tangled in a fiery romance
Two lovers lost in a once-in-0a-lifetime dance
Baby, we knew it was oh so wrong
But at that moment
It felt so right
Yeah baby, it felt so right
At that moment our glistening bodies was all aglow
May be the last perfect moment we'll ever know
It would be pointless to stoke that flaring flame
Knew I couldn't tell you I'd call you next week
No future making promises we couldn't keep
Or trying to make this into a lovers game
We were...
Two lonely hearts that met in the night
Two lonely souls needing to be held tight
Two bodies tangled in a fiery romance
Two lovers lost in a once-in-a-lifetime dance
Baby, we knew it was oh so wrong
But at that moment
It felt so right
Yeah baby, it felt so right
Baby, I'll remember my whole life through
How you needed me as much as I needed you
The passion we shared wasn't something planned
You hadn't tried to hide that wedding band
We were...
Two lonely hearts that met in the night
Two lonely souls needing to be held tight
Two bodies tangled in a fiery romance
Two lovers lost in a once-in-a-lifetime dance
Baby, we knew it was oh so wrong
But at that moment
It felt so right
Yeah baby, it felt so right
Baby, our desire raged like a wild fire
Devouring all feelings of guilt and shame
Leaving neither one of us to blame
Comments
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Couple of things. I really like the lyrics, but I think there are too many of them. My suggestion (which you are totally welcome to not use) would be to consolidate verses to shrink it down, keeping the strongest lyrics. I often have to do that on my songs. It's best to write too much then edit it down. You get better songs that way. As far as the song, this is the kind of lyric that the music will "make or break." With just the right music, this can fly. With music that fails to capture the mood and accentuate the lyric, it can fail to reach it's potential. How can you tell what is "just the right music?" Well, THAT is the million dollar question we all wish we had the answer to. Good luck with your lyric, then good luck with your song.
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Hi Hardtwistmusic,
I'm meaning for this to be a country song and I was using the old aab verse rhyme scheme.
Thanks for the read and your suggestions.
Tex
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Holds together nicely. Good structure. Classic relationship song. And no reason why it shouldn't work in Country.
A couple of editing things:
Cough a glimpse > Caught a glimpse
Our eyes pulled together as if to be magnetized > Our eyes pulled together like they were magnetized
I said to you, "You look like an angel to me, can you fly?". Depending on the syllables needed and how it sounds, you could shorten that "I said to you" > "I said"
I like the "Giggling your reply" with the internal rhyme on the next line.
You've got a couple of verses starting with "Baby..." coming right after the chorus ending with "Yeah baby, it felt so right". That felt like too many "Baby"s to me, but it depends more on how it sounds. Could be something to look at once it is set to music. A slight gap between the end of the chorus and the start of each verse might make that problem disappear.
I wasn't sure about the "Baby, we knew it was oh so wrong" line until I got to the wedding band, then it made sense. Nice twist!
Good stuff.
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Typically country hits don't use a a v4 , The reason to get to chorus faster . Tpically they use a tag , Which would be this ..It Felt So Right
Cough a glimpse of you and I was hypnotized
Our eyes pulled together as if to be magnetized
Attraction hit us like a double shot of hillbilly moonshine
cough is a bit odd
VVCVCBCtag
A great example of what I'm talking about is this
Memory I Don't Mess With
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQhJm3QkXq0
Why do they use v1 as a tag ? to complete the story , How it all started , its a successful structure
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Thanks Owen,
Thanks Elvis, I had thought about adding that at the end of my outro. Might be able to start with something like this (As you waltzed into the party, I was hypnotized)
Tex
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Looking a a few changes:
vr 1
Girl, when you waltzed into the party, I was hypnotized
Our eyes pulled together like they were magnetized
Attraction hit us like a double shot of pappies moonshine
in vr 2
Change ( I said to you) to ( I said)
No changes in the chorus
vr 3
Our glistening bodies sparkled in the moonlight
But it would be pointless to stoke that flaring flame
Or trying to make this into a lovers game
no 4th vr
bridge stays the same
outro:
Our desire raged like a wild fire
Devouring feelings of guilt and shame
So neither one of us is to blame
But at that moment
It felt so right
Yeah baby, it felt so right
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Nice! I particularly like the new outro and ending on your hook and title!
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This works.. Just give it a single prompt and let it go :)..
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Well its a tag not a outro , Well not really you're not tagging v1 , So its outro
Sounds good man
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