When You're Dead, You're Dead
Still wondering if this song makes sense but I gave it a whirl. @bhengen it certainly is no bhengen, "When You're Gone, You're Gone", but..
So my question is, does this story make sense to you? If not, any suggestions would help. Open to rewriting it as I struggled with it some. Trying to make sense as to why my father would say such a thing in his humorous way. I can only hope I got it right 'cuz there's nobody still alive to ask. And I hope that I put Dad in a good light as he deserves.
For a listen ===> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/when-youre-dead-youre-dead
The man in the photo on SoundCloud is my Dad, John aka Jack aka Jackie. And he truly was a Jack of all Trades tho' not included in this song.
WHEN YOU’RE DEAD, YOU’RE DEAD
[Verse 1]
Daddy came up Catholic as they come
He was an altar boy in his day
Somewhere along life’s crooked line
From the blessed hope, he strayed, but
Dad would give you his last two bucks
And when you went to pay him back
He’d say, “Keep your money, you need it more than me”
And a sense of humor, Dad didn’t lack, he’d say:
[Chorus]
When you’re dead, you’re dead
That’s what Daddy said:
When you’re dead, you’re dead
How he put his pain to bed
[Verse 2]
The first-born son of thirteen siblings
Never made it past the eighth grade
Workin’ that potato farm to bring home the bacon
Gave his parents any money he made
Later on in life, Dad liked raisin’ hell with the boys
Horseshoes, bowlin’ and playin’ cards
He loved fishin’, the dog-track and country music
An’ Daddy loved hittin’ his whisky hard, he said:
[Chorus]
When you’re dead, you’re dead
That’s what Daddy said:
When you’re dead, you’re dead
How he put his pain to bed
[Verse 3]
Now, Mom, she was a diehard Protestant
Couldn’t blame her for not changin’ her way
But it put a wedge between her and Dad’s Catholic mother
When she skipped out on Mom’s and Dad’s weddin’ day
It’s no wonder Daddy left the church behind
And I wonder how many others have gone astray
‘Cuz when you give up on the hope of Heaven
All that’s left to say is:
[Chorus]
When you’re dead, you’re dead
That’s what Daddy said:
When you’re dead, you’re dead
How he put his pain to bed
mm-mmm, mm-mmm, mmm
[Verse 4]
Now, later on in life, Dad turned a leaf
Sundays, started goin’ to Saint Bridget’s again
With God, Daddy got himself right
Of drinkin’ and gamblin’, he repented
It was hard watchin’ the diabetes take a toll
Eventually, it took out his big ol’ heart
But Dad, never lost his keen sense of humor
In his last days, Dad was that jolly card, he said:
[Chorus]
When you’re dead, you’re dead
That’s what Daddy said:
When you’re dead, you’re dead
How he put his pain to bed
[Chorus]
When you’re dead, you’re dead
That’s what Daddy said:
When you’re dead, you’re dead
How Dad put his pain to bed.
© 2025 Renee La Chapelle – All Rights Reserved
Comments
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Now that is my kinda song, something everyone can relate to. Well written and sung with a beautiful message.
Artistry in the simplicity, a wonderful piece.
Thanks for sharing that, one of your best.
Sid
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@HummerWisdom - Renee, it's a perfect sentiment and essentially tells the story.. very well crafted. why he would say such a thing is essentially, what can you do? i thinks it's a variation of what's done is done. Well done Renee, I would leave it as is.
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@bhengen I believe you got it right! Thank you for the confirmation and for the challenge to write it! I almost gave up on it and just kept going back to it til I thought I hit it right.
Thank you,
Renee 💌
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@HummerWisdom - I knew that two totally different approaches to a single topic.. TBH, I like yours better as you made ti personal and made it about the man, rather than the phrase.. I think we should post this phrase and see what everybody else comes up with..
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I don't like thinking about when I'm dead much , I got new car payments to make . I'm sure fighting with Ford on the old car on a new engine , is going to be a real joy . I'm sure after talking to them there will be 5 minutes on I wish I was dead . Without money you might as well be dead .
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This one just works. That simple storyline just laid out for everyone to hear.
Suits your playing style too.
Good work!
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@ElvisNash well, then a lot of us should be dead because there's more of us with no money than with.. I'll keep that in mind the next time I feel like killing myself, lol! 😍
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ha ha ha , right , We have bills to pay. Online banking looks like a decending C scale.
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@bhengen as I like yours better; such an incredible story so full of imagination. But yes, very different from each other. I always wanted to write something sweet for my father and while this one isn't all sugar and spice, it suits him. I think he'd be happy with it. He truly was a fun guy to hang out with tho' his family (younger brothers and sisters) did take a fair share of his time, even when they were older. Dad would always be helping someone with something and of course, playing hard as the song depicts. For the most part, they were a close knit family as was my mother's side.
Anyway, thank you for the nice compliments,
Renee 💌
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@HummerWisdom - Your welcome. I still think it would be interesting to post the phrase and see what other people come up with
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Well... I like it! Great easy to listen lyrics. Music is just fine!
Great hook!!
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Thank you so much everyone! I think Jack/Dad is smiling from Heaven or, laughing! Either way, he's happy!
Renee 💌
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Love this Renee. Your dad was someone I would've hung out with. Your song reminds me of my dad too. He had an 8th grade education and got his GED when he was 50.
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Works for me. A lot of heart. Listening to it, I found myself liking your Dad a lot and also liking you for loving him as you did. A good song can do that :)
There are a few places where you don't seem comfortable cramming a lot of words into a line. I'm thinking of these:
"And I wonder how many others have gone astray" could just be "How many others have gone astray?"
"It was hard watchin’ the diabetes take a toll." This could be "Hard watchin' diabetes take it's toll" or simply "But diabetes took it's toll."
I also have a suggestion for this line: "And a sense of humor, Dad didn’t lack, he’d say:" Following the maxim of show don't tell, this could be "With that infectious smile, he'd say" or something like that. Or maybe "With a twinkle in his eye, he'd say." You could probably find something better, since you know exactly how he looked when he said it.
I really enjoyed this one.
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@OnlyGavin thank you for taking the time to suggest various things. Yes, it is evident that I struggled more with this lyric than some and I love the way you've uncluttered some of the lines. I've copied and pasted them to work more on the lyric. Fortunately, SoundCloud now has an edit feature where I won't lose my feedback when I go to re-upload it as the song is gaining a bit of traction!
Thank you SO much, Gavin and nice to finally meet you (or have we met before?) Please pardon me if that's the case,
Renee
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@Cove Wow! Thanks for sharing that and kudos to your Dad for getting his GED that late in life! Amazing!
Renee
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Nice to meet you too Renee. I was on here fairly regularly a while back but then a bunch of things got in the way of spending much time on music related things. Glad to be back :)
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The best kind of songs are the ones that are straight from the heart just like this one.
😀John B
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@Johnb68 thank you, John and nice to meet you. And it's nice that you share the same name as my dad! Do they call you 'Jack' as well?
Renee 💌
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No. They just call me John.
😉😀
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Renee,
It makes perfect sense to me, and I think it’s great how you painted the pictures in the listeners minds of who your Father what he means to you. Like Gavin said some of the lines were rushed, the music style suited the sentiment well. Whatever the subject when you write you’re right.0
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