River's Orange

RIVER'S ORANGE I

Stony maidens cry their tears A'

From that water you are born

You found your path mile by mile

you see so much on your way

You pass me by, standing here

Watching you from the save shore

Standing here day and night time

You invite my soul to pray


I'm right here, where you unite A+

With the one that named myself

Named my people, our land

Water unites deep and wild

By the landmark I'm waiting

Want to flow away with you

All by myself, quiet, free

Pulse gets lower, thoughts get mild


River's orange B

Suddenly I understand the river's words

River's ornage

Suddenly I hum the sound you mumble

River's orange

Suddenly I understand the river's words

River's Orange

Here something touched my soul

'Cause the water washes away anything that hurts


And one time in the still of the night C

While I'm waiting here

I may sense the answer

I may get an idea

And one time in the still of the night

While I'm waiting here

I may sense the answer

An image that is almost clear

River's waves and waters will wash away my fear


Stony maidens cry their tears A*

From that water you are born

Nothing can stop you flowing

There is still so much to see

Flowing up north, there's no doubt

A part of me will follow

But what happens at your end?

Or if you dry out like me...


©by Ian P.

26.08.2017

for: VB

Comments

  • This one feels personal, introspective, contemplative.

    I don't understand all of it, but I kind of don't expect to.

    If you were wanting to be clear for others you might try to clarify:

    • River's Orange
    • the one that named myself (another river?)
    • the landmark

    But you might want it to be enigmatic, one to ponder on.

    In any case the story of the river, your respect for it, and its ability to help you calm and heal come through, and that seems the most important parts.

    I like the image of the Stony maidens' tears, very poetic. 

    In v1 each of the first four lines are near rhymes to lines 5-8, eg tears/here, born/shore, mile/time, way/pray. I don't know if that was intentional, but it would be amazing if you could continue that, I really like the effect, but it's difficult to maintain.

  • @RainyDayMan there you go:
    https://www.duisburg.de/tourismus/stadt_erleben/highlights/rheinorange.php
    This will answer most of your questions.
    Infact it is a personal one while it describes a place here in my area. But this place has a special vibe and that’s what I wanted to capture.
    Yes the one that named myself is another river, the river ruhr which gave my area…the Ruhrgebiet/ruhrarea and its ppl its name. There are bavarians, saxons, and and and, and also RUHRpottler and we are usually very proud of that.
    The stone maidens, thanks, I used it here for the alps where the beautiful Rhine starts its journey.
    Thank you for your time and your feedback!
    RK
  • To me, knowing the background to your song made a huge difference in appreciating the beauty of your words. The stony maidens tears referencing the Alpine source of the rivers is beautiful, without the clarification, I probably wouldn't have got it.

    For philistines like me, cover notes are a huge help.

    Thank you for going to the trouble of explaining, appreciated.

    Sid

  • Yes, knowing the context is big help. it makes much more sense now.

    One for people who know to appreciate.

  • @RainyDayMan @sidshovel
    I‘m sorry but, as Owen knows, I got some troubles with posting yesterday. I tried it again and again…when it finally worked I was just happy and skipped my usual „intro“ part with some explanations.
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