FINALLY, a Christmas song that I can enjoy.
All I Want for Christmas Is Your Fat Ass To Be Gone
I think I might have already posted this at the old site, but I saw others posting Christmas songs so thought why not give it another spin just to get everyone in the right Christmas spirit LOL.
https://soundcloud.com/themysteriousbeings/all-i-want-for-christmas-shorter-version
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS (IS YOUR FAT ASS TO BE GONE)
Outside the window the carolers
Are singing Silent Night
But we don’t have too may of those
‘Cause all we do is fight
‘Tis the season of peace and love
And I’d love some peace but Lord above
You won’t shut up ‘bout how you’ve had enough
Of me, but you’re still here
CHORUS
All I want for Christmas is your fat ass to be gone
I’ll drive you to your momma’s, take your number off my phone
And all I want to see underneath the Christmas tree
Is a bottle of Johnny Walker Black that I bought just for me
When you’re gone, I’ll get out that old sweater
You thought I’d thrown away
And I got a date with those pants you hate
And we’re going out to play
My friends will all be glad to see me
I’ll watch what I want on the TV
And it won’t suck so much to be me
Because you’re gone
CHORUS 2
All I want for Christmas is your fat ass to be gone
I’ll drive you to your momma’s, take your number off my phone
But what is this I see, beneath the Christmas tree
It’s an envelope with a note you wrote
And it’s addressed to me
“Merry Christmas, baby, my ass is gone
Thanks for the present of that big old truck you’re still making payments on
I found the money you hid in your hat
I took your dog, but I left my cat
To remind you of me, wherever I’m at
Enjoy being on your own.
(SPOKEN)
Well, I really miss my dog, and that cat sure is mean.
I don’t miss you though, Baby.
I haven’t made any payments on that truck for six months and the transmission’s about to go, and there sure wasn’t enough money in that hat of mine to pay for a new one.
So, Merry Christmas to you too, Baby!
CHORUS 3
It’s a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
I’m so happy on my own now your ass is out of here
And who is this I see
Beside the Christmas tree
That old dog saw sense and jumped the fence
And came running back to me.
Merry Christmas, boy!
Copyright 2018 Gavin Sinclair
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Comments
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Ha ha...I love this! It's just sooo tempting to get mischievous at this time of year. Especially given some of the garbage that gets played over and and over. As much as I love Paul McCartney's music, if I hear that Xmas atrocity of his one more time I will not be responsible for my actions! This happens to be a really good piece of music too, but it certainly made me laugh. I recorded something equally tongue in cheek a couple of years ago. I may well give it another airing on here in a day or two. Well done, I thoroughly enjoyed this !!😂
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FINALLY, a Christmas song that I can enjoy.
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😂
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Thanks Chris. I feel the same about that song and all the others. In fact, I was inspired to write this one when someone posted a sugary sweet Christmas song at another forum a while back LOL.
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Thanks, JayDub. Glad you enjoyed it.
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Love the dog coming back for Christmas! That just makes it 😁 Good fun!
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Thanks Owen. I set out to write a completely misanthropic antidote to sugary Christmas sentiment, but the dog snuck in and added a positive note LOL.
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Giga @OnlyGavin
hahaha I had a lot of fun listening to your song again!!! It sounds great, everything is balanced and the voice delivers the story so well... biting... funny... acid
Satay wellll
Mora
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Nice one, Gavin! Very amusing! I have to agree with Chris' earier comment. I also took the McCartney song off my Christmas rotation of over 450 great tunes long ago. There's about 5 or 6 more annoying Christmas songs that I can only handle in small dosages. I'll leave those to everyone's imagination. 🤣
One seldom-heard song, but one that's great for the holidays, was penned by the Gibb Brothers and recorded by the Swedish group No Hat Moon. It's a nice addition to a Christmas playlist that usually elicts "Wow, who is that? I've never heard that one. Nice!" when it's played in group or family settings. It always depends on the audiance, of course. Some may have the McCartney-Christmas reaction. 🤣
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2edJLaeerU
Sorry to hijack your thread, Gavin! Again, very funny song! Thanks for sharing it! 😀
Cheers,
Joseph
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No problem with hijacking the thread Joseph. That's a very nice song. It has all the sweetness that you find in the Christmas music that we end up hating but it's saved by the variety in the melody, the clever echoes of bells and caroling phrases and it's folky feel that isn't squashed by some pretty intense production. The lead singer's voice and the harmonies are really nice too. I could listen to this several times without throwing up my Christmas pudding. :)
I was intrigued by this line: "Mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers " Seems like it would have been pretty easy to make that rhyme by moving a couple of words around LOL.
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Niftily done Gavin ! . . . so much fun, but just had to listen with a smile inside my little headphone world, in case anyone else was listening . . . my version would have been where the cat came running back to me !
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Glad you enjoyed it, Popitup. Notice that in the song she leaves the cat with him as a punishment lol.
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Yes, I got that :) all part of the charm of your song . . . it's -11C outside here right now, and all the dog people are standing around outside waiting . . . while I'm here by the fireside with my cat, just sayin'
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Cat people and dog people lol. I actually like both, even though I'm definitely a dog person. Cats do seem to like me for some reason.
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Lol! That's funny as #@!% and well put together. Great job!
Thanks for making me laugh, merry Christmas.
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Thanks for the kind words, dchip. Funny as #@!% is high praise indeed.
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Glad you enjoyed it abc4. Thanks for listening.
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