Do you remember me ?
This is also one of those I still think a lot about.
DO YOU REMEMBER ME ?
I've been the last summer wind. A‘
While you saw the autumn's stars
I've been the last loud laughter
Before tears rolled down your cheek
I am that whats left behind
Memory you try to keep
Because through all this fighting
I am the peaceful, I am the meek
I've been the lonely island. A+
Land that saved you from drowning
I've been the last wooden bridge
That allowed you to go on
To go on with your voyage
On the path that makes you see
That clears your mind step by step
When all the sorrows are gone
People gave me many names. B
If they find me, I'll set them free
People gave me many names
I am where you can come to rest
People gave me many names
I'm the litte piece of hope
Do you remember me ?
I kissed so many hearts. C
And embraced souls
I kissed so many hearts
Kept spirits alive
I kissed so many hearts
And embraced souls
I kissed so many hearts
Healed many wounds and scarves
Hidden inside, but I survive
Somehow I will survive
I have been the candle light. A*
That enlightened your darkness
I have been the whispr'd word
Callmed you down within the noise
R+C by Ian P. 04.09.2017W+M by Ian P.
for: VB
Comments
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This is a hopeful one. That's nice to see. A sense of positivity and resilience.
I think it already reads quite smoothly. Some very minor suggestions
Memory → Memories
People gave → People give
I'll set → I set
scarves → scars
Your final line doesn't quite feel like an ending, more like something in the middle. Perhaps you could swap it with one of your earlier ones like "Somehow I will survive" or "Do you remember me"? There's a touch more completeness in those to me.
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I echo RDM comments with the added sugestion for the last line
"That peace within the noise".
Overall another nice piece to a progressive reveal which I like.
Well done
Sid
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Thanks you two! Specially for pointing out some of the shit stuff my cell did on its own lol. Forgive me but as you know, it has to deal with 3 different language. I’ll change that.
About the last line: I know what you mean but I wanted that effect here. I wanted to keep it open for the recipient so that he/she can fill in the „blank“ on it’s own. I also want to have some kind of wind sound at the end. Probably produced by instruments.
*and I got a WhatsApp in my language and I’m about to write on here also in my language….welcome to my world lmao*
Anyway I want to say thank you once again!
RK0 -
DO YOU REMEMBER ME ?
I've been the last summer wind. A‘
While you saw the autumn's stars
I've been the last loud laughter
Before tears rolled down your cheek
I am that whats left behind
Memories you try to keep
Because through all this fighting
I am the peaceful, I am the meek
I've been the lonely island. A+
Land that saved you from drowning
I've been the last wooden bridge
That allowed you to go on
To go on with your voyage
On the path that makes you see
That clears your mind step by step
When all the sorrows are gone
People give me many names. B
If they find me, I set them free
People give me many names
I am where you can come to rest
People give me many names
I'm the litte piece of hope
Do you remember me ?
I kissed so many hearts. C
And embraced souls
I kissed so many hearts
Kept spirits alive
I kissed so many hearts
And embraced souls
I kissed so many hearts
Healed many wounds and scars
Hidden inside, but I survive
Somehow I will survive
I have been the candle light. A*
That enlightened your darkness
I have been the whispr'd word
Callmed you down within the noise
R+C by Ian P. 04.09.2017W+M by Ian P.
for: VB0 -
Cool! If it's intentional, then no problem - you're getting exactly the effect you were after!
1 -
Great lyrics and good message. I enjoyed their flow and how they feel natural and organic in their structure. When will we hear its demo?
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Music the way we create it, lyrics only and music with Ai...they're all on the same page here Nick.
0
Howdy, Stranger!