Looking for opinions/ideas for our next song "Philomena" before sending off for mixing
Would greatly appreciate a listen and some feedback before we commit to mixing/mastering. I like it as-is, but others have suggested adding drums/percussion. What do y'all reckon?
I'm also not completely sold on the guitar solo in the bridge. It needed something though and nothing I've tried so far has fit.
I wrote and played the music (except for some of the synth) and my songwriting partner Brian Stepien (Soul Chatter) did the lyrics and vocals.
As always, all listens appreciated!
https://vocaroo.com/1fXTJuxBYvBw
"Philomena"
Cornerstone says 1902
casts a shadow over euclid ave
i was only a kid what could i know
criss-cross the altar in mothball robes
what in the world can i say
philomena was her mmm
out on the street things were black and white
i thought this was home base free from the fight
those granite walls they hold so much in
dim was the light from the stained glass curtain
(chorus) what in the worl d can i say
philomena was her name (repeat)
i learned guilt and defiance and original sin
everything so conditional then
spent a lifetime trying to shed that skin
just trying to shed that skin
(chorus)
a saint for the young or so they say
came guilt and wonder feeling the shame stand beneath the stone baby let it rain
keep me wondering til my dying day
Comments
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It sounds fine as it is. If it's going to be mixed/mastered, then I won't say anything about that aspect. If I was to suggest anything it would be that it maybe needs a shift in direction somewhere along the way. A very nice song though. Good vocal and some lovely instrumentation.😀
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I think there's a place for drums/percussion towards the end at that final chorus where the trumpets start. It doesn't need anything up to that point, and could possibly drop out again for the repeat of v1.
I like the solo for the variation it brings to the track.
Personally I would halve the length of the intro.
But a really nice track. Enjoyed that!
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Sounds very raw and real , I'm not s a mix guy per se , It takes a awhile to get to chorus , but thats fine in my book
Good song man !!!!
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Strong track @jrandolph. Cool guitar playing, solid vocals, and clever lyrics. The arrangement, production, and mix are great. Nice work! 😀
Cheers,
Joseph
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Thanks Chris! After taking some time away from the song I'm inclined to agree that it needs something. we're going to try some percussion on it and see where that takes us. Thanks again!
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Thanks for listening! We're going to have someone have a go at some percussion to see how it goes. I may cut out that entire first instrumental verse as well.
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Thanks brother! Appreciate the listen!
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Thank you sir! This was a really good collaboration I think. I handed him the music and he did a great job with the lyrics/vocal melody on it.
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Thanks for the feed back! Thankfully it's not too late so we're going to go through another round of editing to maybe get to the point a little quicker. Will update once completed.
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