Lyric only: Crossroads
I'm hoping to hear it isn't too long although I know it is. I'm hoping to hear it doesn't tell WAY too much story although I know that it does.
CROSSROADS
I’m broke down and stranded in my old green Lincoln - Near the intersection where the traffic light’s blinkin. -- At the crossroads of highway 97 and Thompson lane.
The only thing cheaper than the wine I’ve been drinking - Is the talk I’ve been talking and the thoughts I’ve been thinking -- For a long time I’ve been doin nothing but bringing you pain.
The sun’s long gone and a cold wind’s blowin -- My coats pretty light and it’ll soon be snowin
And it’s a four mile walk back to where I know I belong.
Well, I know what’s right but I don’t wanna do it. - I ought to walk back to you and work my way through it. - But you know how damned hard it is for me to say I was wrong.
The last thing I did as I walked out the door - Was to yell that I would never be back.
You stayed real calm and said “put it in writing.” - And make sure the ink that you sign with is black.
I spun my wheels heading out of your driveway - Threw gravel all over your lawn.
Had to put on a show just to prove I wasn’t scared. – The neighbor kid yelled, “what kinda drugs are you on.”
Well I’m tired and cold, and afraid that you mean it. - I always thought I knew a good thing when I seen it.
I’m sitting at a crossroads and I don’t know which direction to go.
If I walk straight ahead where the cold wind’s blowin. -- It’s just a couple miles to where the sawmill is glowin. -- I know the guys there, they’d let me come in out of the snow.
If I head to my right toward the reservation, - There’s a truck stop, that doubles as a Greyhound station.
It’s six long miles, but I could surely handle a meal.
To the west is a ranch where a girl named Donna - Said drop by any time but I sure don’t wanna.
Crawling back to you is startin to seem like a really fine deal.
The last thing I did as I walked out the door - Was to yell that I would never be back.
You stayed real calm and said “put it in writing.” - And make sure the ink that you sign with is black.
I spun my wheels heading out of your driveway - Threw gravel all over your lawn.
Had to put on a show just to prove I wasn’t scared. – The neighbor kid yelled, “what kinda drugs are you on.”
It’s long past dark, and the clouds are really movin. -- I’m wondering exactly what I though I was provin. --- So I make my decision and start heading back to your light.
I’m afraid of what I’ll do if your arms aren’t open, -- I’m walking toward home just shiverin and hopin when I see a set of headlights coming toward me out of the night.
I’m wonderin what fool’s out at this time of night… -- When I see that it’s you, you’re a wonderful sight. -- You’ve clearly been driving round crying and looking for me.
I swear it’s the last time I’ll put you through hell… -- but you laugh when I say so cause you know me so well. -- I don’t know how you manage to put up with the jerk I can be.
Copyright 2008 Verlon L. Gates
Comments
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is this spoken word format?
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To be honest, I liked the story, but I'm not sure if it could be a song.
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Your chorus looks like it would be find, I think you could remove some of your verse lines and still make it work.
In what looks like your first verse you could do away with the wine line and still have the same meaning.
I like it and where it's going. You've got it in the old country AAB scheme, I always liker that.
Good Luck With It
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Well, H... it's a bit long and there's too much story 😋
But that's Ok... got a lot of material for the song, itself. Lots to work with. It's better to start of with fat, than to not have enough in there to work with.
it's a good premise... Go for it!
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its to long and you will lose listeners if chorus does not come in about 30 to 45 seconds
Kids listen with phones , Science and the music industry has proven , kids have a short attention span now
So you want it a 250 to 350 radio time
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It's not just the kids who have short attention spans nowadays.
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It's shrinkable. . . but I'm not good at shrinking a story that is complete. I know it has to be done. . . but it's hard for me in this case. This is a song that I woke up one morning 18 years ago to find I had fully formed in my mind. Like it wasn't something I wrote, but something that was 'given to me' fully formed with both the lyric and the vocal melody. It's strange cutting it for that reason.
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Thanks for the input. I once knew what AAB meant, and have actually forgotten.
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It makes a song. What I don't know is if it makes a GOOD song. 'o)
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No. It's too "flat" with too little variation throughout. . . which I'll have a hard time changing. And it's like Dylan's song "My Back Pages" which is excessively repetitious. (I'm not Dylan, and am thus less likely to get away with it.)
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I just never seen any lyrics formatted this way, which is why I asked, you can start by trimming filler words, 'then, and', etc.
Since it's similar this is how dylan formatted his song - Bob Dylan – My Back Pages Lyrics | Genius Lyrics
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It sounds to me that you do not have a melody. With a melody, you can piece together the lyric within that melody and still have the story. The emotion of the melody will underline the important aspects of the lyric you want to share.
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You're correct and thats why songs are shorter in 2026 . it no big deal rewrite to wittle it down to a 3 minute song
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I feel like the core of the song is:
I’m sitting at a crossroads and I don’t know which direction to go.
And I'd try to build the chorus around that. Maybe something like:
I’m sitting at a crossroads and I don’t know which direction I should go.
The last thing I did as I walked out the door - Was to yell that I would never be back.
Left and right is emptiness, straight ahead there's a cold wind’s blowin.
And every path ahead makes it feel like I won't be coming back.
though doubling up on "back" isn't perfect!
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Thank you Owen. . . I'll take that under consideration.
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