Sober Day One
Sober Day One
Poured, what I swore would be…. my last bottle
Then lost to temptation, as I crushed…. my final can
I don’t believe me, when I say….it’s over
But for the thousandth time… I’ll make my stand
Now here I am:
Sober day one…..
My eyes are still cloudy as I
Reach out for The Son
A self induced prison
Is what my life’s become
Now here I am
Sober day one
It took a lifetime of living….to get here
Is it my body, or soul…..that I’ve damned
Seems my pride takes the bruise, for excused self abuse
Did I give up, or did I give in…..
Now here I am:
Sober day one…..
My eyes are still cloudy as I…
Reach for The Son
A self induced prison
Is what my life’s become
Now here I am
Sober day one
When there’s questions for answers… it’s heartbreak
Seems my decisions and free will….failed me
Was I living to die….this whole time
I’ll ask forgiveness, but I’m not deserving….
Now here I am:
Sober day one
There’s no sky, no forgiveness
And certainly…..no trace of The Son
My price eternal
It was such a great one
Now I’m sober….
Sober day one
Who’d have thought that the demons
I fought would have won
Forever sober
Sober….day….one…
Comments
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Hi MP, so glad to see you here. I always enjoy your lyrics, and this is good stuff.
The flow is great, and I love the rhymes and internal rhymes. The hook grabs attention and it works really nicely in the lyrics. It's pretty sad but has an honest feel. The end is chilling.
Do you have music for this yet?
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Great to see you here. Excellent lyrics. I agree with much of what Andrea says. I'd be interested to see where this one goes musically.😀
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Hi Mike! Some heavy lines there, and I think it comes off well. I like that chorus in particular.
I'd prefer to see lines 2 & 4 of each verse rhyme the way they do in V1. With such a noticeable rhyme in the chorus I think it would be more consistent that way. But I like the meaning of all the lines,
Good stuff, and lovely to see you posting!
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Thanks all. Andrea/Chris, no music, as usual, only lyrics. Maybe someday I’ll get around to that. When life gets less hectic.😂 Andrea, I was going to go the opposite direction with the ending but felt this was more powerful. Owen, I was wanting to go the route you suggested with the lines rhyming as well, but came up with it yesterday morning, and wanted to see if this worked at all. I think that may definitely improve it as I thought the same. Hope to be posting more, just have to get used to the new site. No email alerts for comments.0
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Hey there MP............It's the old "addiction" premise but with a new and inspired look. I think the lyric is very descriptive and fresh. The word "Son" is a bit of a question mark, for me. I think this needs to be clearer.
I like the lyric....now, it's time to craft some music.......have fun 😎
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I suggest you reach out to @jeff9 @jeff9 for a collaboration. He is someone I always think of when it comes to country music. You can check out my collab with him a little farther down in the posts (Rattlesnake Shack). I've collaborated with him on a few occasions and can only say good things about working with him and the results. I think he would be a great match for these lyrics.
Maybe it would be a good song for 50/90 which begins July 4th 😉
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Good lyrics, MP, and it's good to see you back! As I read through your lines, the meter of "Still Doin' Time" by the late George Jones came to mind. I can imagine this one performed in the same tempo and style as that one. Your lyrics are solid as usual. I think my favorite lines are:
When there’s questions for answers… it’s heartbreak Seems my decisions and free will….failed me Was I living to die….this whole time I’ll ask forgiveness, but I’m not deserving….
Hopefully, your song can be set to music and performed. Good stuff! I enjoyed reading it.
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I really liked the lyrics, deep, sincere, so descriptive! @MPDudash
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Iron knee, thanks for looking. The Son is meant to signify the reach to a higher power for help. Thanks for commenting and your input.
Andrea, I will have to check that out and see if it’s something they are willing to work with. Appreciate the suggestion.
Icy storm, that vibe is exactly what I’m aiming for. Thanks for commenting.
Mora, thanks for commenting.0
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