The Odds Against Tomorrow (2023)
Hello, I originally joined this forum in good ol’ 2020 when we were all trapped in our houses and when I started writing songs. I posted my original songs as quickly as I wrote them. I thought they were amazing and I found out they were crappy and I had lots of work to do haha. Almost three years later, I have returned here to share some of my latest songs and my experiences in songwriting. I have only written 10 songs but I have lived with them over the years. This is a new song written in February but has become a favorite. I have performed it live 3 times so I know it works for the audience. It fits along with my other songs that also mention the character of Jimmy C. The last time I played it at the open mic (I am a regular at a bi-weekly open mic at a local record store) I had the crowd singing along and adding the sound effects. I would say most people don’t like my songs but at least they know I have a style. So listen to my song but also know it’s more important for me to play the song live. I am preparing to record it at a local studio with full musical backing so hopefully that comes to fruition but I’m not too concerned about it.
For this song I actually handed out the lyric sheet for people to follow at the open mic, As you will notice I created sort of a larger story by using screenplay directions etc. for a listener to follow. I made the lyrics non-binary so it can be male or female singing.
The structure is tight: verse, pre, chorus x3 the ending I get all echoey but that’s just for fun. Enjoy folks!
The Odds Against Tomorrow
Scene 1 EXT. GAMBLING CASINO - NIGHT
WE OPEN on an isolated neon-lit casino far out of town.
We follow a figure entering the busy gambling room.
They pass the poker tables and slot machines and focus on the dealer
spinning the
roulette wheel.
The dealer’s face hides an unhappy soul. But luck comes
to those who see a chance. And Dreams can just show up...
Verse 1
I spin the wheel at Jimmy’s club
You walked in like a dream dressed up
I’d cheat the devil to make you mine
Your eyes lit up with dollar signs
Pre_Chorus:
I knew I was right, like always
Fortune was ours at Jimmy’s Place
They won’t see the trick up my sleeve
Our plan is going to work like a dream
Chorus:
It’s the odds against tomorrow
It’s all fair in love and war
The odds against tomorrow
Now close your eyes and bet it all...the odds against tomorrow
Verse 2:
We watched the wheel, go round n’ round
Where it stopped well they were stunned
Jimmy hit the roof when he found out
You left town with more $$ than you could count
Pre-Chorus:
I knew I was right, like always
Fortune was ours from our little game
They didn’t see the trick up my sleeve
The magnet in my cuff worked like a dream
Chorus:
It’s the odds against tomorrow
It’s all fair in love and war
The odds against tomorrow
Open your eyes and have it all... the odds against tomorrow
Scene 2 EXT. A HEAVY WOODED REST AREA OFF THE HWY - A STORM RAGES
A solitary figure is lit by a pair of headlights driving towards
them. The Dream is HERE...
Verse/Bridge:
The rain was pounding, when you drove up
Your car lights flashed, a shot rang out
I couldn’t breathe, I fell to the ground
You walked to me, with a gun in your hand
Pre-chorus:
I knew I was right, like always
Fortune was yours or so you thought
You didn’t see the trick up my sleeve
The bulletproof vest worked like a dream (x2)
Chorus:
It’s the odds against tomorrow
It’s all fair in love and war
It’s the odds against tomorrow
Now close your eyes and bet it all... the odds against tomorrow
Close your eyes and bet it all... the odds against tomorrow
...the odds against tomorrow
Scene 3 INT. A SINGLE FIGURE SITS ALONE IN A SLEEK SPORTSCAR
The dealer stands with a lighter in their hand. They ignite a trail
of gasoline that
leads to the
car.
Outro:
I’d cheat the devil to make you mine
Your eyes lit up with dollar signs
Scene 4 EXT. THE NEON SIGN OF LUCKY 7’S FLICKERS IN THE TWILIGHT
The camera follows a large gentleman dressed in red followed by six men. It is Jimmy.
He slaps a magnet onto the table in front of the dealer. Close-up of a hand under the table
reaching for a
switch.
Fade out. Title card...To Be Continued
The sound of a roulette wheel echoes...
THE END?
© All Rights Reserved 2023
Words and Music by Russell Pollard
Comments
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I'm putting everything I have on tomorrow - it seems a no lose bet.
An interesting piece @The_Big_Gundown . Clearly a lot of thought has gone into it and it really shows and validates the time spent.
A novel lyrical presentation and a characterful vocal really work well together.
I'll be interested to hear more from you.
CCB
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I think the title is clever, and the roulette wheel effect is cool. I suspect the lyrics could be improved by inserting some rhymes in spots, at least to my ears. For example:
Verse/Bridge: The rain was pounding, when you drove up Your car lights flashed, a shot rang out I couldn’t breathe, I fell to the ground You walked to me, with a gun in your hand
You may consider changing those lines to:
A torrent poured as you arrived Your car lit up from the shot inside I couldn't breathe, my life denied You strode to me with your gun real wide
Also, when you're ready to record the next version, Fiverr has quite a few good vocalists to choose from, my friend.
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Thanks CCB, I appreciate anyone seeing the effort I've put into my songs.
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Thanks for listening. Yes, I also have access to a thesaurus if I want to "improve" my lyrics haha. And sorry but you are stuck with me singing my songs 🤣
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Interesting idea to give stage direction notes with the lyric. And why not? The whole song is theatre. Great idea!
It puts me in mind of Meatloaf, and how his songs were so theatrical.
The wheel spin FX works a treat, and there's an entire novel in the lyric!
As you say, you've created your own style. Ride that baby all the way!
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Its like a theatre western , could use some rhymes , good job
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I love you!
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I like the hook line and I think it works well in the song.
I feel like scene 1 could be a song in itself. Then the song continued into a story that feels like an entire movie. So cool! Twists and turns that kept me entertained from beginning to end.
I think the melodies could be a bit more varied, but I like the vibe. It feels anxious.
"The dealer stands with a lighter in their hand. They ignite a trail "
I would use the singular "he' or 'she' instead of 'their' and 'they'.
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Hi!! Thanks for listening and your comments. If you read my introduction the song is non-binary so it has no "he" or "she" in the entire song or set-ups.
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Hola!!
It has been a curious journey through the story.... The intro made me think of ... and then roulette and guitar!!! and the voice describing so many things!!! A new way of doing new horizons! @The_Big_Gundown
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I listened again , You got rhymes going on , perhaps the the rhyme scheme is not consistent
But it works
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Top notch man! Dig your style0
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