Gypsies and your Emergencies
Gypsies
on the outskirts of your beliefs,
hold flaming threads unwinding.
You probe unordinary dawnings;
the ceremony of bright priestly steel
rushing to your veins.
There’s nothing more to say
You’ve all seen this before
You saw where the real treasure lay
Those who have come late
to your festival of sweet dying
search for the lights of a ghostly girl's eyes
There’s nothing more to say
You’ve all seen this before
You saw where the real treasure lay
She will lead you through a snowstorm
of the future as your memory-blinded love Sings with an angel late of a shining town
who whispers soon, yes, soon,
with the gleaming liquid key,
you'll set loose tides of joy
in this long street-stair darkness,
and sing, dancing children
through expanded time.
There’s nothing more to say
You’ve all seen this before
You saw where the real treasure lay
now your cargo unloaded wagon wheels turning
this unblessed home is now a haven
for the emergency you once worshipped
and the agony torn loose
from echoes of the moon.
There’s nothing more to say
You’ve all seen this before
You saw where the real treasure lay
Gypsies
on the outskirts of your beliefs,
hold flaming threads unwinding.
Comments
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This makes no sense to me , but it sounds cool
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It might help your understandig if you look at it as the landscape of a junky's mind and situation - all in images.
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Well I didn't know it was about a drug addict , obviously their mind makes no sense. All your songs stems from a mental disease as depression , or seems like . They're all forboding loss of some kind. but thats the blues
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A slight word of advice . I would be more careful how you characterizw another writer's work. I submit just two examples that are far from dark and represent the type of work I do far outweighing the darker "mentally diseased" - you hearing yourself? pieces.
Her look was warm as summer dawn,
there was a lightness as she stepped
as if the ground was almost a cloud,
her beauty a casual dream sun-swept.
The last time I saw her she sang
a song of stream and swelling hills,
the sky alive to her lilting melody
backed by a covey of whippoorwills.
She’s on her way to full release;
solid witnesses to her teachings
stand by with glances into clarity.
Her mind plays - it’s far-reaching.
All through this lonesome night
I’ve heard cries from the forest;
her absence pervades in silence,
a wind starts up out of the west.
Pick up the lines
that lightning scores
across the waking sky.
Feel the shower of stars
on your face
like soft lashes
urging you to move
and not look back.
Who are we to think about another way
who would we be if we didn’t.
there’s nothing
up above or down below
that’s gonna change
my love for you,
even when a strong push
comes to shove and rules
The brightest thing I know,
down to the core,
is the memory
lodged in my head
of your face unmoving
on the window ledge
as I returned
semi-conscious from the war.
What we’ve got coming
after this debacle we’re in
deserves the word Hallelujah
Tell me everything has changed
tell me nothing would have changed
if it weren’t for you
walking along the river
where fortune flows.
This is your Hallelujah
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You're songs are never conversational , They're more poetry , So its hard to tell what your singing about . I feel a sense of depression in all your songs . it really doesn't matter , no one posting on forums will wind up a star
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My life consists of more than posting. If you can call the two pieces I just sent - dark - then the problem lies with you not the content.
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@ElvisNash , there's a place for poetry in pop songs, ask Joni Mitchell.
Critiques are good, but it ain't all about pitching. I could give a rats about pitching , it's Dead, it's a diy world, the object is to write something people like.
I agree it's harder to critique poetry, but not everybody is trying for Nashville...
Frankly, they are smarter than that0 -
Just a observation on my part , it does not mean anything
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Some very vivid phrases in there, quite poetic as has been noted.
I didn't get a clear message from it, but there are plenty of opaque songs out there that people have pondered over for years. Perhaps this one is of that kind.
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Hola @RCJames
Nice to see here you!!! The song sounds well but the story... I do not find sense... even having wonderful Ines here and there but when put together... a lot of possibilities not developed.
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Interesting stuff... very atmospheric and dark. Cool use of metaphors.
your singing adds a compelling edge to this, as well.
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I haven't hear one of your songs in a while, but I knew what to expect. I don't get too deep into song lyrics...and I won't pretend that I understand these, but it works. I've said it before, but keep doing what you do. I love it.😀
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Howdy, Stranger!