Other Side of Town
Thought I'd pop in with an old co-write with my friend, Patrick Michael aka 'Zoner'. While we wrote several songs together, I feel this one and maybe, one other are our best. While we originally wrote this song in 2011, we later on went back in 2018 and tweaked it a bit. I re-sang it yesterday for that more current touch. Any feedback is welcome,
For a listen ==> https://soundcloud.com/reneelachapelle/other-side-of-town/comment-2354975543
OTHER SIDE OF TOWN
On the other side of town there's a drunkard beggin'
On the other side of town there's a gambler hedgin'
On the other side, the other side ‘a town
On the other side of town there's a junky lookin'
On the other side of town there's a schoolgirl hookin'
On the other side, the other side ‘a town
CHORUS
Oh and you, you're somewhere doin' somethin'
On the other side of town
And me, I'm done believin' Lord, help us now
Watching the sun sink sideways down
And on the other side of town there's a poet rhymin'
On the other side of town there's a mother climbin'
Climbin’ the walls of this tattered town
Oooooh-oooooh, Oooooh-oooooh
On the other side, the other side ‘a town
And on the other side of town there's a baby cryin'
On the other side of town there's an old man dyin', yeah
On the other side, the other side ‘a town
CHORUS
Oh and you, you're somewhere doin' somethin'
On the other side, the other side ‘a town
And me, I'm done believin' Lord, help us now
Watching the sun sink sideways down
Oooooh-oooooh, Oooooh-ooooooh
On the other side, the other side ‘a this town
On the other side of town there's a church bell ringin'
And on the other side of town The Fat Lady's singin', yeah
On the other side-
On the other side ‘a town
On the other side-
On the other side ‘a town
On the other side, the other side, the other side ‘a town..
Copyright 2011-2018 Renee La Chapelle & Patrick Michael (Zoner)
Comments
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@HummerWisdom - interesting lyrics. to me the repetitiveness of using the other side of town in every single verse monotonous, but that may just be the genre. not really fond of folk music, so may not be the best judge of this song.
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You're good at painting life at its darkest . it seems 98% of songs on this site lean towards a negative view and do not believe in positive thinking
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@ElvisNash You haven't heard 1/1000 of my songs. So there's that. But thanks for the 'compliment' and yes, life is dark and there are a few folks out there who appreciate the dark/hard truth. Anyway, you do you and I'll do me of which I truly love some of your songs! Somebody's gotta do the positive for certain, speaking of.......
........Just working on a MOST positive one now called, "Learn To Love Each Other". If I think of it, I'll share it with TSF tomorrow, or not. But it's going up on SoundCloud some time today.
Renee 😍
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@bhengen Yeah, I agree, a bit repetitive with the hook but I will say the hook sings very nicely. Tried to break it up a bit with V3 as final line lands differently. Could be time for a bit more tweaking as we've done over the years.
Thank you for your honest assessment,
Renee
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I like how you're using the other side of town as a place where everything bad happens, so when "you're somewhere doin' somethin', On the other side..." it automatically comes across as bad.
Talking about "the other side" automatically creates a contrast with "this side". You could potentially use that more explicitly using some "Here I am" type phrases. You've kind of got that implied already, but maybe it would be stronger done explicitly.
Enjoyed my listen!
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Love the lyrics and the overall mood and feeling - well done.
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@RCJames Thanks so much! I'm just about to to click on your Music/Math tune. Be right over! 😍
Renee
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Love this song, Renee! It's got an old school Kris Kristofferson feel! And, even though the genre is entirely different it reminds me of Skynyrd's "Things Going On"
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Renee's gone mute :)
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@bhengen Realized I’d already commented back to RC so deleted duplicate! 😊1
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who hasn't been there.. sadly, after 15 mins spent on a constructive comment, I realized I had already commented on one..
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It's one of those songs that really makes you think. Even though the message on the surface seems simple, the words really pique your interest and make me want to know more. I found myself wondering who "you" is in the story, what they are to the singer, and what exactly they're doing on the other side of town. I don't actually think it's necessarily a very dark song, more melacncholy It's definitely more open ended in that sense, but I think it works with the way you wrote it.
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@BeatlesFan64 Thank you for checking out our song. Yeah, we changed it a bit over the years. The chorus was more specific but in a grungy sort of way so we left it open for interpretation. Now, you got me wondering if we should change the chorus slightly again to be more specific but in a more acceptable manner. Something to ponder.
Thanks so much for your insight,
Renee 💌
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Dangnabit I had an entire paragraph typed and when I was going to post I punched the wrong key, and it disappeared. Urghh. I have to remember my initial thoughts.
It's another catchy tune and I can relate because I used to live on the "Other Side of Town." I love how you sing, Oooooh-oooooh, Oooooh-ooooooh and your vocals never go all over the place. In my opinion, this is difficult to control. My only critique is the chorus was not sung in a way to distinguish from the other verses. I would have liked to hear a switch, but other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed the song and music.
I appreciate your storytelling, and it makes your music enjoyable.
Thank you for sharing!
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@TammyB so sorry that happened; hitting wrong keys on devices, I'm good for, too! 🤣 Anyway, yeah, I'm thinking about doing something a bit different with the chorus based upon comments. We'll see. 'Cuz I have to check with my co-writer, but he's pretty easy-going so it shouldn't be a problem.
Thank you for your thoughts, Tammy!
Renee
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Howdy, Stranger!