Another humble submission for your opinions
Really appreciate any feedback/thoughts. Thanks in advance!
Face you Deserve
Finally got the face you deserve
You wear it well with tongue in cheek
Guess i wasn’t in on the joke bc it happened to me
Overworked and underpaid
You let yourself get all used up
Standing at the back of the line with an empty cup
Oooo was it enough to know
was it enough to let your feelings show
Oooo you’ve got a lot to learn
When to run or when to watch it burn
Never living up to your word
You drink and cry yourself to sleep
Living this way costs so much but it just comes off cheap
Spiteful as the day is long
A tongue as sharp as hungry thieves
take another stab at your life and tell me if it bleeds
Oooo was it enough to know
was it enough to let your feelings show
Oooo you’ve got a lot to learn
When to run or when to watch it burn
Comments
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This is a good song. The chorus is my favorite part. The "oohs" really work.
The contrast between the guitar and the highly processed synth sound was a bit strong for my taste, but otherwise I really enjoyed it.
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A likable song, jrandolph. The vibe of the song sort of reminds me of the Alan Parson's Project. Good vocals and quality songwriting. Nice work! I enjoyed listening. 😀
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I know what you mean. i like the slightly late thwack sound but agree it sounds weird/harsh. I'm going to rework it to figure out how to keep what i like without the harshness.
Thank you very much for listening!
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lol i hear the Alan Parson's thing too. the last parts of the chorus sound kind of like eye in the sky and i think the vocals are done the same way (doubled and panned hard).
Thanks so much for the kind words!
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Sounds good man , I'm not sure you need all that middle section music
Maybe all you need is that guitar lick section at 1:24 , Back into chorus , I'm not sure , its radio friendly at 3:50 or so now
Great harmonies
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I like the lyrics and vocals here. The jangly guitars work for me too. I agree with ElvisNash about the middle section - not sure about the whistling. Also the keys sound a bit strange to me. Nonetheless, I think this is a great song. I really enjoyed it.😀
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Thanks brother! That middle part is just me trying to copy windfall by son volt. plus, I figured y'all needed a little break from my singing :) You may well be right though. I'll tinker with it and see how it sounds without it.
Thanks again!
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not sure about the whistling lol
I'm not either
That was originally just a place holder for a solo I was going to write and my wife liked it so I figured I'd try it out, I will likely remove it when I get back around to working on it.
Thank you so much and I'm delighted that you liked it!
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I'm thinking commercial radio wise , I'm not sure how on all other genres handle all that
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Hola @jrandolph
I really liked listening to your work, it's fresh and the story has depth and good lines that you lighten up with this effective arrangement. Very nice result.
Maybe you could fill the change at 3'45 with a delay? thus it would serve as a bridge to the guitar that appears alone.
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Thank you @MoraAmaroLaLoba !! I did just what you suggested and doubled that lone guitar part with a slight delay. it does sound much better thank you!
I also tamed the synth a bit so it plays nicer with the guitars...also an improvement. i took out the whistling lol.
thanks again to everyone for listening and giving me constructive feedback! Cheers!
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I totally enjoyed this song. I like the lyrics and the music. The chorus is really great :)
You have some good feedback for improvement. I can't add anything new.
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Howdy, Stranger!