Play with me

Words me; Music - Suno
https://suno.com/song/cf4372ba-f023-4bcf-8fbc-47252466e673?sh=LAPNvM4MOHp8lnkF
[Verse 1]
As a child my mom would say
It's such a beautiful day
Why don't you go out and play
And enjoy the warms sun's rays
[Chorus]
She'd always ask me why
And in my, in my reply,
As you can clearly see,
I'd rather play with me
[Verse 2]
When I became a little boy
I'd never really had any toys
That truly gave me any joy
To my mother it would annoy
[Chorus]
She'd always ask me why
And in my, in my reply,
As you can clearly see,
I'd rather play with me
[Verse 3]
When I grew into a young lad
It would make my mom sad
That no friends I ever had
She thought this a passing fad
[Chorus]
She'd always ask me why
And in my, in my reply,
As you can clearly see,
I'd rather play with me
[Verse 4]
Now that I'm now an older guy
Still only myself, I would rely
Alone with my, head in the sky
Making my mom, sad and she'd cry
[Chorus]
She'd always ask me why
And in my, in my reply,
As you can clearly see,
I'd rather play with me
[Outro]
Now I am man who's at that age
Of the book of life's final page
A solo act performing on stage
Still only myself, will I engage
Comments
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It takes me weeks with human players to lay a song down
You can do it in 15 minutes
I like this it makes sense Bill
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@ElvisNash - thanks for the comment. well. yours is production ready. I would need to clean this up before selling it.. or at least try to make it less synthy.
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You could build a YouTube channel . I don't think kids really care if it's synthy. Look at what Rick Beato said
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@ElvisNash - I watched his video.. different take than his opinion last year. as they train different vocals models and add some algorithms to clean up th e tracks, i'd say within a year you won't be able to tell the difference.. for me to go after today's market, then I need to become more pop rather than prog/ experimental rock.. not sure if I have that in me :).. maybe create a new genre called pop goth :)
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Maybe , it’s just finding a audience Bill
Doesn’t really matter what genre0 -
Unusual turn, waltz, bossa nova, still retaining the experimental and progrssive elements in the lyrics though.
Highly enjoyable piece Bill, clear story in there.
Good memorable hook tying it all together.
love it.
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@sidshovel -thanks Sid. Originally it was called play with myself. Self is hard to rhyme 😂0
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Very different style for you, both lyrically and musically! But a good one.
Yes, "self" is a bit hard to rhyme, which is a shame.
So a bit of innuendo here?
To my mother it would annoy
felt a little awkward, though I know you're happy to twist and change words as necessary.
An enjoyable listen!
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It's a really fun melody - well done Suno! 😀
And well done to you too. I mostly like the lyric. For me some of the liberties with grammar don't quite come off, but most of them do. One I would definitely change is in the first line. As written, your mother is a child, whereas I'm pretty sure you mean that she is talking to a child, i.e. you. Easy enough to correct to "When I was a child, my mom would say."
I think the chorus could be more fun if you made it more conversational between mother and son. Something like this.
She'd always ask me why
And always I'd reply,
O Momma, can't you see
I'd rather play with me?
You lose the playful repetition of "In my" (one of the grammatical liberties that I think is cute and works well), but you get a nice repetition/echo of "always" and a much better third line, imo.
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Perhaps ;) thanks for the comment. I agree about that line. it seems stiff. doesn't flow.
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I see that now about the 1st line.. not fond of the chorus either. but this was a whimsical throw way song. thanks for the suggestions.
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That's a good general tip you gave there Gavin, must look for an opportunity to use something like that.
Thanks Sid
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This is amazing! It made me happy and dance.
Love, love, love the catchy tune, lyrics, and trumpet playing. I felt like I was in New Orleans at the Mardigras.
By the way, that was one reclusive guy. :-)
Good suggestion by Gavin as well.
Great work and I can't wait to hear more!
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Howdy, Stranger!